


I Chase You Like a Dream

by daniellavictoria



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: American Catholic High School, Angst, Coming Out, Fit Liam, Fluff, High School Reunion, M/M, PA Niall Horan, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Rock Star Harry, Self-Discovery, Smut, secret crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:13:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7142132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniellavictoria/pseuds/daniellavictoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been five years since Louis Tomlinson has laid eyes on Harry, his former best friend and secret crush. They ended their friendship on a bad note, Harry jetting off to L.A. to start his music career directly after graduation and essentially, as Louis saw it, abandoning his best friend. So when their five year high school reunion comes around, Louis has obvious mixed emotions about seeing the man who unwittingly broke his heart in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Chase You Like a Dream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> I kind of got carried away with the prompt hence the over 35,000 words. I have them attending an all-boys Catholic High School in the United States and there are just a few references to religion (but just in passing, nothing crazy) that are essential to the plot. Zayn is just mentioned in a flashback so not much of him.  
> I'm really excited about this fic so I hope you like it, 0ziall!!!

At some point the man sitting across from him, all 6'2" big-muscled, over-tanned, blindingly white toothed, over-gelled inches of him had to come up for air. _Didn't he?_

But, alas. He didn't. Nico, his blind date, just would not shut up about how he could get into any club, ' _ANY club, man! ANY club you can think of!',_ how he could bench press 300 lbs ' _easily, bro. Want to feel my pecs? Just did a few reps right before I got here.'_ , and how to make the ultimate protein shake to ensure one is using their muscle strength to their full potential. ' _It's essential, bro. Trust me. E-ssential.'_

Louis didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry by the end of the first half an hour. Instead...he drank.  And drank. And drank some more. By the end of the tortuous two hours he had endured of his blind date Louis was well and truly plastered.

So when it was time to leave and the bill had been paid, " _I got this bro. Just got paid. It's Friday night...' (Louis rolled his eyes_ exceptionally _hard at the man's attempt to sing seductively while simulating almost imperceptible hip gyrations in his direction). Party hopping, feeling fine...'_ , Louis quickly bid the man adieu with a short nod and a tight smile of less-than-sincere thanks before his date could offer to get him on a VIP list somewhere.

_'Hey, Lewis!'_ the oaf had bellowed after him as he made his way to his car in the restaurant parking lot. Louis had cringed at the mispronunciation which he had corrected him on _numerous fucking times._

He froze but did not turn around, instead he bowed his head finding himself staring down at his reflection in the puddle at his feet. A reflection that began to mar from the slowly falling raindrops making a return from earlier in the evening. _Fucking great._

_'No kiss?'_

Louis stifled a shocked giggle. This guy was too funny for his own good. With a half-hearted wave over his shoulder, Louis unlocked his car and got inside. He watched as this 'Romeo' gave a disappointed shrug before getting into his over-stylized truck and driving off.

Louis relaxed into his seat leaning his head back heavily with an annoyed huff. "Well, thank you for that Liam. You fucking asshole."

And then the sky opened up and the drops of rain hitting his windshield blurred out any clear vision of the world outside. It was only a few blocks to his apartment. It was either wait out the storm passed out in his car or walk on foot. He let his eyes drop to the floor of the passenger seat where his umbrella would usually be only to see it empty. His bright blue umbrella definitely not within reach.

With a groan, Louis slowly turned towards the backseat with his fingers crossed. The car began to spin. No umbrella there either. _Fucking fuck._

The pull of a warm bed, a hot cup of coffee and a couple of Ibuprofen for his inevitable hangover winning out, Louis removed his jacket and draped it over his head preparing for his walk home.

_Fucking fuck!_

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

"Well, how long's it been, Lou?"

Liam is a bastard. A fucking sneaky bastard. Nico used to be one of Liam's clients at the MMA gym that he owns and for some reason which Louis cannot comprehend, his friend thought it a good idea to set Louis up with the oaf.

"So...that means I'm desperate enough to sleep with someone like Meathead?" Louis huffs. "I hope you're joking, Liam. I hope this was a sick joke because-"

"How long's it been, Lou?"

Louis fish mouths looking for his next words and unable to find them he groans and lowers his head in defeat. "Too fucking long. Ok. I see your point."

He can hear Liam's smirk through the phone. "Didn't say I set you up 'cause I thought you two would be perfect for each other. Just thought...you know."

"Yeah...well. Thanks but no thanks." He sighs dejectedly, accepting his fate as a man without a match. Louis hasn't felt a connection with anyone in the five years he's been out of the closet. ln the five years since he graduated high school. Not since...

"...so are you going to go?" It seems Liam has been talking while Louis' mind wandered. "Zayn's not sure he can make it. Some art exhibit in Paris that week or something."

"What?"

"What 'what'?"

"What are you talking about?" Louis says. "I spaced out thinking about how pathetic my love life is. Sorry."

"The reunion. You got the invite didn't you? Chaminade's? It's been five years can you believe it?" And Louis really doesn't want to piss on Liam's parade. He really doesn't. But seeing as Liam was Mr. Popularity throughout high school and would probably be greeted with a standing ovation from his old pals when he entered the old halls of their high school Louis couldn't help the tinge of bitterness when he answers.

"Liam. When we graduated it was the best day of my fucking life. You know I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there."

"So...that's a no then?"

"Hell fucking no I'm not going!" Louis leans back against the cushions of the couch, resting his feet on the cluttered coffee table in front of him. A few pieces of mail piled on the table fall to the floor with the movement. It's not like Louis wasn't popular. He _was._ He just...he didn't really _leave_ on good terms with a few people and just that had Louis gun shy of ever stepping foot inside the doors of Chaminade.

"Heard Styles is going to be there."

And that...that just wasn't playing fair. "So?"

Liam barks out a laugh, the smug bastard. "Yeah. Ok, Lou. 'So?'" The smug, _sarcastic_ bastard!

Louis rolls his eyes. Yeah. He might have basically been in lust with the boy. And yes he might have dreamt of endlessly running his fingers through the shiny, dark waves that teased him throughout high school. From the day they first met on the very first day of Freshman year in homeroom to the last day they ever laid eyes on one another Louis had been completely and utterly done for.

 

*** **flashback** ***

 

Louis always cursed that his name came after Harry's in the roster. That he was assigned a seat directly fucking behind the boy, his soft curls giving way to chin-grazing waves by sophomore year. By junior year the boy hadn't even gotten a trim, the waves now reaching his shoulders. The back of his seat. Louis knew by senior year Harry's hair would occupy the very edge of his own desk. And he would be insanely tempted to just reach out and twist his fingers through the locks, _so obviously_ testing Louis' restraint. But by senior year, Harry had grown six inches and had gotten a trim, the waves now springing up to just past his shoulders. By senior year Harry had become a _man_.

Louis watched with a dry mouth as Harry ran his fingers through his hair, shaking it out so it fell just right. The fluorescent overheads glinted off of the paler natural highlights interspersed throughout the darker strands, hypnotizing Louis. Jaw slackened, Louis' teeth clacked together when, from his left, came a poke in his ribs.

"Tommo," Liam whispered, his finger still pointed towards Louis' side. "You're gonna catch flies. Shut your trap." The knowing smile that accompanied Liam's words had Louis blushing.

How could this boy's hair have him so turned on? Was he _that_ obvious?

And then Harry was turning in his seat. And now Harry is smiling over his shoulder at Louis, mossy green eyes sparkling. "So are we on for later, Lou?"

Louis swallowed, his Adam's Apple bobbing quite obviously. _Later? Oh!_

"Y-Yeah," he laughed nervously. Tutoring. Louis was tutoring his friend. Harry. Harry was his _friend._ Since freshman year. He was practically drooling over his very platonic, very _straight_ friend of almost four years. "Yup. Yes."

Harry's smile grew, his perfect teeth flashing before he gave a little nod and turned back around. And then running his fucking long fingers through his impossibly sexy long hair. Again.

Louis was so screwed.

 

 

 *** **present day** ***

 

Louis' mind burns with the memory. He takes a deep, cleansing breath and readjusts himself and thanks the heavens Liam isn't there to see his semi-arousal at a stupid memory of a stupid boy. Clearing his throat, now fully adjusted, he huffs "Whatever." _Oh, Tommo! So fucking witty you juvenile. 'Whatever'._

Louis mentally face-palms himself and his childish response. If anyone knows the effect one Harry Edward Styles used to have on him all those years ago it would be Liam. There was no use playing dumb in all honesty. He was only drawing out the inevitable.

Liam is silent. Louis knows that Liam's silence speaks more than his actual words.

With a defeated sigh Louis gives in. "Well...how do you know? That he's going to be there I mean."

He can hear the triumphant smile in his friend's voice. "He was being interviewed on 92.3 earlier in the week. Tuesday, I think. Anyway, the guy asked him if he had any interesting plans coming up and that's when Harry told 'em he was going to his five-year high school reunion."

Ah, yes. How could Louis forget. Harry darted away to L.A. right after graduation to pursue a music career. Forgetting all about little old Wilson Park, New York and little Long Island Louis. The Louis who had been his number one supporter, his biggest cheerleader when he had entered all those talent shows and songwriting competitions at their school and local radio stations. He won most of them too in no small thanks to one Louis William Tomlinson, thank you very much.

 

*** **Five and a half** **years earlier** ***

 

Louis was a mama's boy and he most definitely did little to dispute that fact. He was loathe to think of being away from home for more than a week let alone four whole years. He would miss her and his little sisters way too much to be able to function properly. So that is why he tried desperately to change Harry's mind about moving to L.A. after graduation. Because as much as he was a self-professed mama's boy he was also a secret Harry's boy as well. So being that far away from Harry when he really _didn't have to be_ just didn't make sense to him. Harry could easily pursue his music within the confines of the many nightclubs and open mic nights that littered New York City. They were only a 45-minute train ride away on the LIRR so when Harry said he'd made up his mind Louis felt the bottom drop out from under him.

Maybe he'd misinterpreted the [level of their friendship](http://daniellavictoriaao3.tumblr.com/post/145781004626/ficxchangepic1). After all, Harry didn't seem to have a care in the world about leaving Louis to fester in a local University for the next four years. Alone. Without him.

"I've gotta do this, Lou," he'd said one late afternoon as the two relaxed on Louis' front steps after school. "While I've still got the chance."

And Louis had known that but... "But New York is like the _perfect_ place to start a music career, H! I mean, if you want to be a movie star, yeah. Go to L.A. but _music_? Music is what you find in the city, dude."

But that just so happened to be the moment that Louis' whole world went to shit.

"I kind of...met someone."

The guilt was written clearly on Harry's face. He knew. He had to have known. Louis knew he was shit at hiding his affections for his best friend even if Harry had always dismissed it as playfulness. Every lingering touch that would have strangers and even friends side-eying them. Every endless night spent texting or talking about nothing at all but both too hesitant to end the conversation. Every time they held a gaze long enough for Louis to have felt the beginnings of butterflies wings in his belly just to have Harry avert his eyes abruptly when someone walked into view. That all seemed to have been a figment of Louis' imagination. That there was any inkling that Harry had shared even a semblance of 'a bit more than friends' feelings for Louis was just...delusional. Because now Harry knew he was breaking Louis' heart but still did nothing to stop it.

"Oh. Yeah?" Louis swallowed the lump forming in his throat but it only turned into a bowling ball of nerves and disappointment in his gut. "Ok."

Harry began to fidget next to him, reaching for and plucking a dandelion weed growing out of a crack in the cement at his feet. "Yeah. She...She's got connections. Like...her family lives in Beverly Hills and they rub elbows with the rich and famous and all that shit. She said that her dad golfs with Irving Azoff."

Harry dropped the name like Louis was supposed to know who this Azoff was and when he didn't respond as Harry'd hoped his friend clarified. "He's like _the biggest_ music manager out there, Lou! She gave him that demo I recorded."

How could Louis forget. _He_ was the one who had arranged for him to record it in some run down studio in the middle of Bushwick somewhere that his cousin's friend of a friend ran. It was his gift to Harry for his 17th birthday and worth every penny when the boy grabbed Louis and pulled him to his chest in thanks. That hug had lasted a bit longer than may have been socially acceptable as having been between two totally platonic friends. In some people's opinion, perhaps. But to Louis it was the absolute best day ever.

And today was gearing up to be the worst.

"That...that's great, man. Really." Louis cleared his throat uncomfortably trying and failing to feign enthusiasm. "Are you...you're like...dating or something?"

Yes. He knew what it sounded like but he asked it anyway even as he felt his face flush with embarrassment.

"I suppose so, yeah. It's only been a couple weeks but," Harry's eyes darted over to a Louis who abruptly averted his gaze. "But I really do like her, Lou. She's actually a model. Not like runway or anything just yet. She's just starting out but she's beautiful."

And that's when Louis began to tune Harry out. He'd been so fucking stupid. So _so_ fucking stupid. Yes. Harry is straight. Never professed otherwise. And as far as anyone (besides Liam of course) knew so was Louis. Going to an all boy's Catholic high school run by religious brothers and priests tended to make those that were not as straight as the Bible would supposedly prefer stay tight-lipped on their sexual orientation. But as close as he and Harry were the boy had never confessed or presented as otherwise so Louis was only left to assume, too shy and embarrassed to outright ask. It really wasn't his business if Harry was or wasn't but his late night fantasies about his friend would go a lot smoother if he knew definitively if there was ever a chance of them becoming reality. And it's not like he had offered up his own bit of info on the matter. Not that Harry had ever asked. At least not until...

"I'm sorry."

Harry's voice broke through the barrier Louis had set up to block out the endless praise of his friend's new girlfriend. "For what?" He looked up dazedly.

Harry averted his eyes, suddenly interested in an errant blade of cut grass that had made it onto the step between them. He picked it up, pulled it apart, then again. "You know." Harry was squirming under the scrutiny of Louis' eyes and the silence that followed his words was deafening to Louis' ears.

Yeah. He knew.

Louis' chest felt like it was about to burst as he swallowed his panic and put on a brave, clueless face. He leaned back propping himself up with his hands seemingly without a care in the world.  "I don't know what you're talking about, Harry. You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"Lou, c'mon." Before Louis could pull his hand away Harry's was on top of it, his thumb caressing Louis' wrist.

Louis stilled as his eyes fell to watch the soothing touch. To make sure it wasn't all in his head. He opened his mouth to speak but Harry was suddenly leaning towards him, licking his lips.

He lowered his voice."You don't have to lie to me, Louis. It's ok."

Oh! Oh...

Harry was not leaning in to kiss him like Louis had a fleeting delusion was happening. No. Harry was leaning in to let Louis know that he knew Louis' little gay secret. Like it should be whispered. But not only that, Harry was also letting Louis know that he knew his _other_ little gay secret. That Louis had _feelings_ for him that Harry was well aware of. And he felt sorry for the poor bastard. Poor, little, hopelessly gay Louis with his hopeless little crush on his straight and narrow Harry. Harry the rock star who didn't look the least bit like a fucking rock star if you asked Louis at that particular moment, thank you very much. At that moment he looked like the unattainable. _All_ that was unattainable to Louis. And it killed him inside.

Louis pulled his hand back unable to take any more pity touches or soft words from the boy. He wrapped his arms around himself as if he had caught a chill despite the steady 70 degree temperature. "Yeah. Whatever. I gotta get inside. I'll see ya, H."

As he began to rise he could feel Harry's eyes on him. The pained expression in the boy's eyes was evident even in Louis' periphery. It didn't stop him from leaving though and neither did Harry for that matter.

 

 

 

 

*** **Present Day** ***

 

The reunion is in two weeks. _Two weeks!_ In two fucking weeks he will be coming face to face with Harry. Face to face with the boy who unwittingly stole then trampled Louis' heart to bits all those years ago. The boy who abandoned him to move to L.A. to move in with his fucking model girlfriend and her well-to-do family just so he could get a leg up on his music career. Forgetting all about little old Long Island Louis. So...of course this begs the most important of questions.

What is he going to wear?!?!?!

So that is what leads Louis to The Gallery Mall today. Harry is now some indie rock star still flying a bit under the radar but probably fashion conscious nonetheless. And despite knowing that he can't swing Harry to team Gay just by wearing the tightest pair of pants that accentuate his fantastic ass perfectly Louis would still like Harry to see that he has been fine without him. That his ' _sorry, Lou_ 's were unwarranted because...because Louis' life went on. And he didn't need Harry. Never needed him.

 

He's just eyeing a pair of skin tight black Levi's from the discount rack at Sack's off Fifth when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Now, granted, Harry's family is still living only a few blocks away from him but when Harry left Louis kind of went off radar when it came to any interaction with them. He chalked it up to really immersing himself in his degree program and having little to no time for anything other than work. So he hasn't really come face to face with Harry's family all that often even though they live in a rather small town.

But when he turns to see the same sunny smile and deep brown eyes of Harry's older sister, Gemma, it was like the last five years had never passed.

With a flip of her honey-colored hair and a scrunch of her nose Gemma grins. "Louis fucking Tomlinson! Where in the hell have you been hiding?" She gives him a playful shove in his shoulder before he can even open his mouth to answer her.

Louis laughs despite the sudden nervousness at being so near to someone who bears a striking resemblance to the former love of his life.

_Better get used to it since it's two weeks and counting till you see him in the flesh, Tommo._

"Gemma!" he leans forward to give her an awkward one armed hug, still clinging to the jeans with his other hand. "How have you been? Haven't seen you around either."

"Grad school is killing me. I'm rarely able to come home, to be honest." Louis remembers his mother telling him that Gemma had started a Masters Program in journalism at a university somewhere in upstate New York a while back. "It's my last year and it's just..." she groans in frustration and Louis nods sympathetically.

She looks him up and down before saying "And how about you? Last I heard you were coaching soccer at the middle school by us, right?"

"I run clinics for youth teams all over Nassau and Suffolk county now. From Pre-school up through high school," Louis smiles proudly. He may not be a fucking rock star but he's proud of his accomplishments nonetheless. “Going for my Masters in Sports Journalism, too. Actually interning at Newsday, if you can believe it.”

"Yeah? That's great, Lou! Newsday? Wow.”

Louis nods, his cheeks warming with pride.

“And it figures you’d end up doing something with soccer. Harry always said you were such a star on the field."

Louis' stomach flips at the mention of his old friend's name and he begins to fidget. "Yeah. Thanks." He looks away suddenly very interested once again in the pair of jeans he's still holding.

There's an awkward beat of silence and he can sense Gemma's eyes still on him. She clears her throat. "Sooooo...about Harry."

_No. No 'about Harry' please._

Louis swallows audibly, looking up slowly. "Hmmm?"

Gemma smirks, a knowing glint in her eye. "Has he contacted you yet?"

_What?_

"What? Why would you say that?" Louis is utterly confused. It's pretty well known that when Harry and Louis parted ways there was no contact between them. Their mothers remained close friends despite their sons’ falling out so Harry's mother, Anne, would definitely be privy to that piece of knowledge. And, in turn, so should Gemma.

"Oh. Well he asked my mom if she could get him your number, that's all."

_'That's all'?!?!?! That's fucking all, she says!!!_

Louis is speechless. Why in the fuck would Harry want his number now? After all of these years?

When he finds his voice he says, "Why? D-Did he say?"

"Not sure. Maybe because of the reunion coming up. I think he's spoken to a few of his old classmates actually. Maybe he's just trying to catch up beforehand." She shrugs but Louis can sense she isn't saying something.

"Oh. Well. No. I haven't spoken to him. So..."

Gemma meets Louis' eyes pointedly gently touching his wrist and giving it a light squeeze. "Well, when he does. Just...don't hang up on him, o.k.? He's...well." She briefly looks off over Louis' shoulder with a far away look in her eye before meeting his eyes once again. "Just give him a chance, o.k.?"

Gemma makes it seem like Harry is having a tough time with something and Louis can't help the budding sense of worry brewing in his chest. Even though it's been five years since they've seen each other...he still can't deny Harry Styles will always and forever hold a piece of his heart.

So he nods. "Yeah. Yeah, alright. No hanging up." He attempts a smile as Gemma gives him a quick hug and peck on the cheek goodbye.

And then he buys that skin tight pair of fucking Levi's knowing that whether or not Harry does contact him well...at least he'll be well-dressed.

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

It's not until a week later that Louis _did not_ spend waiting in anticipation that an unknown number pops up on his phone screen. He almost lets it go to voicemail from the sheer panic at the possibility of it being Harry who's calling him but he unfreezes just in time.

He's just shut off his ignition after pulling up in front of his house when he answers, hands shaking. "H-Hello. Hi."

A breathless laugh tickles his ear then "Lou? You picked up!" the caller sounds shocked. As he should be, Louis thinks.

Louis' breath catches at the sound of that familiar deep voice. The slow drawl that is undeniably Harry Edward Styles. But Louis steels himself despite the pesky fucking butterflies beating away within his gut. He clears his throat. "Well, I promised Gemma I would so...yeah."

"Oh." Harry's voice drops in clear disappointment at the revelation that Louis doesn't seem to be equally as enthralled to be speaking to him. "Well, I'm glad you did."

"Yeah. Why is that?" Louis knows he's being a bit stubborn. Maybe should just let bygones be bygones. They're both adults now, really. And Louis' moved on. His idiotic, fruitless infatuation with his former friend is a thing of the past. It's not like Harry is just going to walk into his life again and mess with his head and his heart again. He's going to spend two maybe three hours in the same dimly lit auditorium surrounded by a roomful of old classmates that will probably be falling at the great rock star's feet. Harry won't even have time to give Louis a glance before he's jetting back off to his girlfriend and his lavish life in L.A. once again. Forgetting all about little Long Island Louis. Again. So what's a civil five- minute conversation. For closure maybe. To say that Louis was an adult about it all even. Yeah. He could do that.

He could sense Harry squirming through the line. The sounds of parting lips gearing to speak yet closing over and over again can clearly be heard as if Harry is trying to find the right words and coming up short. Then..."I've missed you."

Louis' heart stops. He feels his face go numb, his lips tingling. His breathing is suddenly coming in ragged little gasps.

_No. No! No! No! He's not dragging me in again. I didn't painfully ignore any mention of the name Harry Styles, every image of the man just so he could pop back up and say he fucking misses me like he didn't just walk away and never looked back. NO! It's not gonna happen._

"Yeah?" Louis squeaks. _What the hell, Louis? Stand your ground._

"Yeah." Suddenly Harry's voice is deeper than Louis' ever remembered and Louis feels a shiver run through his body.

_Nope. Not gonna happen._

"Well...I've missed you too." _What the effing hell, Tommo?!?!?!?!?!!_

"Yeah?" Harry's voice is so hopeful. So familiar. "Really, Lou?"

The smile begins to spread without Louis' knowledge because if he had known he was now sitting in his car in front of his own house with a shit-eating grin on his face put there by Harry Styles he would have slapped himself silly that very moment. But then his eyes dart to his side view mirror as his neighbor, Mr. Harrison, rides his bike a little too close to Louis' car and the smile falls. He runs a hand over his face, shaking his head at the audacity of himself.

He clears his throat. "I mean...I guess." _Nice save, you idiot!_ "So...what can I do for you, Harry?" _Back to business. Keep it casual, Lou. Keep. It. Casual._

"Oh. Well, I was hoping we could meet up. Maybe grab a cup of coffee. I see that Starbucks you used to work at is still there. Maybe we could meet there tomorrow afternoon. Say noon?"

_Nope. No. Not gonna happen. You're just going to forget everything once you see him again and you know it. He always had that effect on you. Say no. Just say no. Say no!_

"Ok."

Louis actually face-palms himself. _Oh, God..._

"Yeah? Great! See you then, Lou!" And then Harry is gone.

"What have you done, you absolute fucking idiot?" Louis groans, pocketing his phone in a haze of disbelief.

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

The next morning, Louis doesn't even flinch when his alarm goes off. He's already awake. Has been for hours. Staring at the ceiling, vision going fuzzy with memories that both make his stomach drop and his insides tingle. All of Harry.

 

*** **flashback** ***

 

Freshman year Louis remembers the excitement of all the new faces, potential new friends. His homeroom was small, maybe 15 boys if he remembers correctly. Each year it grew by a bit as more and more families moved to their little town and the surrounding area. But freshman year. Freshman year is a year Louis met one of the most interesting persons he had ever known up until that point in time.

The boy was a bit shorter than him. Thick curls framed his cherubic, always smiling face. His lips rosy and mouth wide with laughter almost as soon as he sat down in front of Louis. This. This was the first impression Harry had made on Louis. He looked like an angel. And Louis was instantly smitten.

He was also a bit thrown by his reaction to the boy, confused by the stirrings within his belly. The sudden flush he felt when Harry introduced himself with a smile and friendly handshake. Green. His eyes were so damn _green_. Louis couldn't look away until he finally did when Liam, sitting across the aisle and watching the interaction with a confused expression, cleared his throat to summon Louis' attention.

Unfamiliar as these new feelings were, Louis chalked it up to simply nerves from beginning a new school. Wanting to make connections on his first day to hopefully last him throughout his high school career. Make things go a bit smoother and all that. Sure he had Liam. Liam whom he's been friends with since pre-k. Liam who became Louis' partner in crime, playing pranks on their sisters, neighbors and even occasionally some teachers. Liam who, just that summer, had caught Louis checking out the insanely hot new lifeguard, Miguel, at the town pool only to pretend it never happened. Louis knows Liam never brought up what he saw out of respect. Not wanting to embarrass Louis by calling him out on something that even Liam wasn't 100% positive was what he actually saw. Because up until that point Louis tried _not_ to think about what all those times he would wake up with sticky sheets after a dream about a half-naked Ryan Reynolds or David Beckham meant. So there wasn't really anything to divulge or confess because...well, because it meant nothing. Nothing at all.

So it wasn't until first period on his first day of high school that Louis really got to speak with Harry.

"Well I guess we have English together, huh?"

Louis looked up from his seat to see those green, green eyes smiling down on him. "Oh! Hey!"

And that was it. It was fate. They actually had _all_ of their classes together, including lunch and free period, that first year. Louis learned Harry played the guitar and had hopes of becoming a singer/songwriter someday. He learned that they had a shared love of Marvel comic books, _Friends_ , and root beer floats. That both of them came from somewhat broken homes occupied by stepfathers whom they loved but still secretly wished things had been different. They both grumbled over not having any brothers but confessing that they wouldn't trade their sister's for anything in the world. Liam was brought into the fold that first year, of course, and he and Harry clicked almost as instantly as Louis and Harry had. It was becoming what Louis would call a stellar first year.

But then their freshman dance arrived halfway through the school year and they were joined one evening by their 'sister school' from the town over. It was the typical awkward boys on one side of the auditorium, hands in their pockets trying to look all tough and girls on the other, giggling into their red Solo cups and whispering into each other's ears. Awkward maybe wasn't quite the word for it. Louis felt downright embarrassed for those who had arranged the whole thing. It was an absolute disaster of epic proportions.

That is until...

"Hey, Lou. C'mon. Let's dance." And why was Harry grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the deserted dance floor? What was happening?

"W-What? What are you doing?"

Harry winked at him over his shoulder and Louis felt his heart begin to race. _Oh, God._

"Getting this party started, Lou!"

But...but it was a fairly slow song playing and it's not like Harry was going to dance to a fucking _slow song_ with him in front of a room full of people! _Was he?!?!?!_

And yet there was Harry, over dramatically spinning Louis before dipping him with a bark of laughter, those green, green eyes sparkling down on a wonderstruck Louis. _He was._

Soon they were both laughing as they played it up, trying to mellow out the other boys and girls with the ridiculousness of it all. Only Louis couldn't help but feel like he could spend the rest of the night in Harry's arms. With Harry's hand in his. Harry looking at him with that sparkle in his eye, only for Louis.

And then...it worked. Other people began to join them on the dance floor. Girls dancing with their friends but darting quick glances to the boys shuffling their feet still a bit too nervous to engage. Eventually the music picked up and boys began finding their nerve to ask the girls to dance. Couples awkwardly smiled at one another, barely touching at first. Louis had Harry still, shaking his hips and arms leaving Louis a bit breathless.

"Hey, look," Harry nodded somewhere over Louis' shoulder. Louis turned around to see Liam, arms securely around a long-haired brunette swaying slowly despite the fast pace of the currently playing song.

Louis grinned when Liam met his gaze, giving Louis a thumbs up and a waggle of his eyebrows. Louis returned the gesture, brandishing his own thumb before turning back to Harry and...

Louis' stomach dropped.

There his friend was. In the arms of his very own long-haired brunette. Her long fingers buried in the curls that Louis' dreamt about running his own hands through.

_Oh..._

Louis had to feign interest later that night when, on their walk home, Liam and Harry traded stories of how insanely hot the girls at the dance were. How they exchanged numbers with the girls they danced with and whom they planned to meet up with the next day and...'What about you, Lou?' Harry had asked, jumping on Louis' back for an impromptu piggy-back ride. The boy’s curls tickled Louis' neck as he nuzzled playfully at his ear.

Louis swallowed audibly, gripping Harry's thighs at his sides. The other boy's muscles flexing underneath his fingertips sending a pool of heat to his groin. Louis shook the feeling of sudden arousal off and avoided that question like the plague because...well, because it was all becoming quite clear to him now. Painfully clear if the wave of jealousy that overtook him upon seeing Harry in the arms of someone other than him was anything to go by.

Louis had a humongous crush on his best friend. His very _male_ best friend.

 

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

*** **Present Day** ***

 

By the time Louis has overcome the crisis of whether or not to dress like he actually cares what Harry thinks of him, it is already 11:58 a.m.  He's running late. But...at least he looks good after finally deciding on a denim button down over a graphic tee and some black jeans. Cool and casual. Just like Louis plans on behaving towards his old friend. Cool. And. Casual.

 

When he pulls into the nearly packed lot of the strip mall that Starbucks is in it is 12:08. But Louis brushes his increasing tardiness off.

_Let him squirm...serves him right._

But despite his try at aloofness Louis' own insides are squirming in anticipation. Will Harry still have those curls? Will Harry have facial hair? What will Harry be wearing?

He doesn't have to wait long for the answers to those questions as, before he even gets a foot from his own car, he spots him. Harry. He'd know that smile anywhere. Has committed it to memory, dreamt about it, daydreamed endlessly about it. It's him. His Harry.

Louis' knees weaken suddenly as this long-haired, tall drink of water clad in a halfway buttoned cream satin shirt and tight black jeans struts towards him from his own car parked across the aisle. Green eyes glistening with the sun, smile unmistakable.

 

"Lou?" _God, that smile!_

Louis is fucked. Plain and simple. Every negative thought he has been harboring towards the man walking a bit hesitantly towards him has flown right out the window upon laying eyes upon him. Just as he feared.

"Harry?" Louis' lips quiver into a small smile, his breath catching.

Just a few more steps with those insanely long legs and Harry will be within touching distance and Louis has no idea what to expect. What he, himself, will do once Harry is that much closer.

Louis can't help but fidget, pulling at his denim shirt. Adjusting his aviators, flipping his fringe. Nervous energy taking over.

And then...there he is. Harry hesitates, measuring Louis up from head to toe with a tentative smile. "You look great, Lou!" Harry breathes, his hand reaching out but then pausing only to fall back to his side.

Louis feels the absence of a touch that never was so deeply that, after a brief pause of consideration, _he_ is the one reaching out and bringing Harry to his chest. A friendly, long overdue embrace that leaves them both breathless with relief. "You, too, H."

And just like that the tension is broken.

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

Louis can't take his eyes off of him. The broad shoulders just a tad hunched but not exaggeratedly so. The _insanely_ sexy legs, shapely and defined. The long, shiny chestnut hair with natural honey highlights falling in waves just past the man's shoulders. The cute, perky little bum that-

Louis clears his throat loudly, averting his eyes and shifting in his seat when Harry turns around from the pick-up counter with their coffees in hand. Thankfully, he doesn't catch Louis ogling his ass. Or his legs. Or his hair. Or his shoulders.

Harry slides into the seat in front of Louis with a smile. "If I remember correctly...black? Extra ice?" Harry reaches into his pocket, tossing two raw sugar packets on the table towards Louis. "And two of those boys." He glances up at Louis, eyes full of hope and a look that seems to ask ' _Did I do good, Lou?'_

Louis forms a 'gun' with his fingers, aiming it at Harry with a wink. "You got it."

_Oh, God. Can you get any more fucking cheesy, Tommo? Really? An air gun? And don't fucking wink at him. Just...don't._

But when Louis looks up at the man he spots a deep blush coloring his cheeks. "Yessss," Harry hisses, pumping his fist at his side in mock celebration.

Louis tries to fight the smile. And the giggle. He really does. Knows he's being pulled under by his old friend's charms. But he is unable to resist his natural instinct and he soon forgets why he was so hesitant to meet up with Harry in the first place.

"So...how've you been, Lou? I know Gems said she ran into you last week. Said you looked good." Harry leans down to take a sip of his cappuccino, his eyes raising to observe Louis through lowered lashes. With his voice noticeably deeper he continues. "She was right."

Louis blinks, suddenly feeling lightheaded. "Um...thanks."

_And what was that?_

"You...um...you too. Last time I saw you you were...a bit shorter I think."

Harry smirks, bringing his foot out to the side of the table. He wriggles his ankle, showing off his heeled tan suede boots. He winks at Louis broadly.

_What's with all the fucking winking? Is it a nervous twitch or something?_

"Ah. I see. Almost had me fooled there, H." The old nickname comes out naturally and by the sparkle in Harry's eye he appreciates the slip.

"Like the hair." Louis shakes out the two sugar packets before emptying them into his iced coffee. "Even longer than I remember."

"Well, it's been a while." Harry's smile falls infinitesimally. "Too long."

Suddenly Harry's eyes were misty and wistful and Louis looks to him with gentle understanding. "Yeah. It has."

There's a stretch of silence where both men take in the scene around them as they idly sip their drinks. It's rather empty for a Friday afternoon and Louis hasn't been to this particular Starbucks in quite some time as he usually grabs his coffee from one near his school. The place hasn't changed too drastically in the last five years since he used to work there. New products lining the shelves, new exotic concoctions and teas, new light-

"So I heard you came out right after I left."

Louis chokes on his iced coffee, eyes wide and watering.

_Oh...my...God. We're opening with that, are we Harry? Way to just dive right the fuck in!_

Harry leans over, patting Louis' back feverishly. He hands Louis a napkin to wipe the drink now embarrassingly dribbling down his chin. "Shit. Sorry. Kinda sprung that on you, huh? Sorry." Harry begins apologizing profusely but Louis waves him off.

"S'okay," he croaks, clearing his throat and finding his voice. "Um...yeah. Yeah. I...yeah."

Harry settles back in his seat, eyes big and focused solely on Louis now with a look that Louis can't quite read. "That's...wow. That's..."

Louis stills, waiting for Harry to finish his sentence. Not knowing what to expect.

Harry sighs, a glint of wonder brightening his eyes. "...amazing. That's really great, Lou. I'm so proud of you."

Louis offered him a small, shy smile because, well. He knows Harry had to have known. That he _did_ know. If the very last time they saw each other was anything to go by.

 

 

*** **flashback** ***

 

It had been _insanely_ hot in the wide open space of Chaminade's football field. A mass of maroon gowned young men and their families sweated it out under the mid-June sun blazing down on them. Louis was ready to jump in his pool after the graduation ceremony and wash off the stickiness with his friends.

Zayn, a boy who came to the school sophomore year and whom he quickly took under his wing, was the first to arrive. Liam and Harry not far behind already in their swim trunks. Louis nearly choked when he realized Harry was wearing the skimpiest tank top he'd ever seen, his defined obliques peeking out the oversized openings under Harry's arms. He prayed that he could control himself, grateful for the approaching darkness and the cover of the water.

His mother had wanted to throw him a party but Louis insisted he only needed his three closest friends with him to make the day end perfectly. She could do nothing but smile proudly at her son, a wistful look in her eyes before heading over to Harry's house with Louis' younger sisters for an overnight. Harry's mom had gotten the same request from her son of course and was ready to open up a new bottle of wine over which they could reminisce about their growing boys.

Zayn's older cousin dropped off a case of beer as soon as the coast was clear, the boys taking advantage of the lack of parental supervision. It was a day to celebrate after all. And it wasn't like they were leaving the house to roam the streets or drive so they felt their consciences were clear.

Louis was still wary of the bit of tension left between him and Harry ever since their conversation on Louis' stoop after school that day. The day Harry confirmed his plans to leave for L.A. right after graduation and abandoning him. But Louis figured he would swallow his pride and cherish what little time he had left with the boy. The boy whose jet was leaving tomorrow evening...

There were lingering looks, Louis catching Harry smiling at him for no reason at all more than once. His gaze steady on Louis as the other two boys in their company all but faded away. And Louis couldn't make himself look away, sharing Harry's smile like they were sharing some secret that Louis honestly was unaware of. But, of course, he just chalked that up to Harry's low alcohol tolerance. The boy couldn't handle his liquor for shit, becoming a big ball of clingy, sentimental mush after just one beer. It was quite embarrassing really. Louis loved it.

Any chance to have the boy's arms around him, his lips grazing Louis' ear needlessly whispering in a silent room for no clear reason. The way Harry's green eyes would glisten and glaze from inebriation but still hold that sparkle meant only for Louis. Yeah. Louis would take it where he could get it. Even though he knew it was just the alcohol running through his crush's veins. He'd still take it.

It was nearing 10 p.m. and the boys were at least three beers in each when they decided to have a chicken fight in Louis' pool. Louis immediately cannonballed into the water, inundating the other three boys. He heard their muffled protests once submerged and he surfaced with a giant cackle. A cackle he choked on as a dripping wet Harry began to remove his soaked tank top, slowly like he somehow knew there was currently a recording of Let's Get It On playing in Louis' mind as he watched him. The string lights that surrounded the pool glistened off the planes of Harry's torso, his defined abs and chest. His...his fucking v-lines. _When the fuck did Harry start working out? Holy shit!_ Harry suddenly caught his gaze, caught him staring. And for a moment green eyes studied Louis intently, a deep questioning furrow between Harry's brows.

Louis opened his mouth to speak. To say what, he wasn't sure. With Harry's eyes still on him Louis waded, arms lazily drawing circles in the water to keep him afloat. Silent, breathless, and now...with a raging hard-on brewing beneath the surface...he waded. Eye contact was only broken when Zayn started taking off his own shirt in a frenzy.

 

"That's it!" Zayn shouted, throwing his soaked t-shirt to the ground. "You're dead, Tomlinson!" And with a maniacal laugh he was taking a running leap off of the pool deck and cannonballing right next to Louis.

Liam and, _Oh, God!_ , Harry soon followed as Louis began to panic. He swam over and pressed his front against the side of the pool, willing his erection to subside. Fruitlessly. The image of Harry's toned body staking permanent claim in his memory bank. _Oh, God!_

_OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod!!!!!_

And suddenly a hand is pushing down on his head, a cackling Liam dunking him.

_No! What? Oh, God. Just..._

And then he feels the graze of water soaked hair between his legs.

_Holy fucking shit! NO!!!! This can't be happening!_

And he is now being hefted up above the water teetering on the shoulders of one Harry _Fucking_ Styles...raging hard-on still in place. Except now said hard-on is pressed up against the back of his friend's neck and when Harry suddenly freezes, his shoulders stiffening when he is finally standing completely upright, Louis knows Harry can feel it too. The other two boys continue cackling unaware of the...situation.

"Put me the fuck down, Harry!" Louis screeches, wriggling off of Harry's shoulders successfully. He lands with a quiet splash, Harry releasing him without argument.

"Fuck. Calm down, Lou." Liam huffs.

"Fuck off, Li," Louis snaps as he hefts himself up the pool ladder, grabs his towel and scurries off towards the house desperately trying to conceal his erection.

He quickly locks himself in the bathroom too embarrassed to face Harry. Knowing he felt Louis' arousal. God! He practically had his cock in Harry's mouth it was so close and _shit! Thoughts like that are not fucking helping, Louis!_

As he tries to conjure up the most gruesome and disturbing images he can, dead kittens, decrepit grannies in all their wrinkly glory, there was a knock at the door.

He startles, panic settling in once again. "I'll be out in a minute," he calls out, shakily.

"Lou?" Liam.

"Yeah. Sorry I yelled. Just...really had to take a leak, y'know." _Please believe me. Please believe me. Please believe me._

He can hear the faint rustle of someone else approaching the door. _Fucking great!_

"Louis?" Zayn.

"Y-Yeah. Just...just go back in the pool. I'll be there in a minute!" By now, with all of the distractions, Louis is soft and breathing an uneasy sigh of relief. He still wants to be left alone to wither in his embarrassment a bit longer. Plus. He isn't too keen on facing Harry just quite yet.

He hears Liam and Zayn's muffled conversation through the door in bits and pieces.

_What's up?_

_Piss._

_Oh._

_Probably had to take a shit._

_*giggling*_

And while Louis would usually be mortified at the supposition, he's rather grateful neither suspects the real reason for his abrupt exit.

So he figures he might as well roll with it and buy himself a few more uninterrupted minutes. "You got me, guys. Ok. I had to take a shit. So will you just go back in the pool already. Please. I told you I'll be out in a few."

Louis can't help but notice that Harry hasn't come to seek him out. "Did...did Harry leave?" he asks meekly, afraid of the answer either way.

"What?" Liam asks, surprised. "No. Why would he go home? It's not like you took a piss on his head, dude. It's fine."

_No. I just basically almost rubbed one out on the back of his neck but tomatoes, tomahtos._

"Oh."

But then he hears Zayn mumble something to Liam just low enough that Louis has to strain to hear him. "Harry _is_ acting kinda like a dick now. Snapped at me telling me to follow you to check on Lou." He huffs. "Like _he_ couldn't fucking come and check on him." And then he hears them shuffle off with a 'Beer's getting warm. Hurry up' and a 'Don't stink up the bathroom too bad, you dick.'

But Louis barely reacts to their departure because he's gone a bit numb all of a sudden.

_Oh, God. It's worse than I thought. Harry can't even bear to look at me now, either. Probably thinks...thinks I'm...I'm gay or...something. Well...he wouldn't be wrong now would he? You_  are _but...I can't...I'm not ready to tell him. I can't. Not...him. It's...now, he'll think I'm a creep. Like I_ want _him or something. Well...he kinda wouldn't be wrong there either but, still. NO!_

The lump forming in Louis' throat, the dam holding back the flood of tears that had been threatening to burst for the past 20 minutes, finally breaks. He falls to the tiles, trying in vain to muffle his sobs. Pulling at his hair, gritting his teeth. _This can't be happening..._

Ten more minutes pass and Louis' breathing is just beginning to even out when he hears the metallic bang of the screened back door open and close. He groans, getting to his feet to splash some cold water on his face.

_Better get it over with, Tommo._

After scrubbing his face dry with the hand towel, Louis takes a deep breath and finally opens the door.

Only to come face to face with Harry worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, fist poised to knock.

"Oh! H-Hi." Louis averts his eyes immediately, mortification renewed. This is the _last_ person he wanted to see and speak to _alone_ right now.

Harry is silent as he drops his fist back down to his side. He stills.

Louis raises his eyes to find Harry watching him with gentle concern.

"You...you didn't have to run away, Lou," Harry finally drawls, his eyes warm.

Louis squirms, looking somewhere over Harry's shoulder now unable to meet his eyes. "Well...when you gotta go you gotta go, H. 'Scuse me." Louis tries to joke. Tries to sound casual as he attempts to slide past Harry in the doorway of the bathroom. He's stopped by a gentle hand on his elbow. He ignores the tingle the touch sends throughout his arm.

"Lou, stop."

_No. No. Fucking no! I don't want to talk about it. Pleasepleaseplease just shut up. Leave it alone, Harry. Please._

"Harry. Let go. Please," Louis nearly begs. "Just...the guys are waiting."

But Harry doesn't let go. Only tightens his grip, turning Louis towards him. Louis doesn't understand why his body isn't fighting the movement when his mind so clearly wants him to run. So he stands with his eyes to the ground and a very shirtless and wet Harry Styles less than a foot in front of him. A pained expression clear as day took over his face. His eyes pleading for Louis to just... _listen_.

"Lou. You don't have to pretend with me, o.k. I'm your best friend, right? Best friends are...are supposed to be there for one another. Tell each other everything."

And...well, that just opened up an old wound during an already delicate situation.

_Be there for one another?_

_Right. Just like he's going to 'be there' for me come tomorrow when he's off to his new girlfriend and his new life! How fucking rich!_

Louis' eyes dart up observing Harry coldly. "Really?"

Harry looks taken aback at the sudden change in Louis' tone. "Um. Yes?"

"So...by that standard you're not supposed to _abandon_ said 'best friend' and run off across the country as soon as opportunity knocks _._ "

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair aggressively. "We've been over this, Louis! I'm not 'abandoning' you! And that's...that's not what-"

"Oh, yeah?" Louis interjects, a sudden rush of animosity coming over him in waves. He's pent up with so many emotions right now and this is just the spark to set him off. He's humiliated by what happened in the pool. Humiliated that Harry _knows_. That Harry obviously _felt_ Louis' hardness on him. Knew _why_ he was hard. But suddenly his humiliation over that incident has left him vulnerable to his ill suppressed feelings of hurt, anger, and abandonment. He's aware it's misguided. That he had tried to make a point of assuring Harry that he was fine. He'd visit. And Harry had believed him. Whatever. He wasn't fine. He wasn't at all. "'Not abandoning' me? When you just jump at the first chance you get to fuck some supermodel that...that can get you into all the fancy parties and meet the rich and famous. Yeah, Harry. You're abandoning your best friend for some pussy. That's it. It's not even about the music, is it?"

Harry stares at him wide-eyed, clearly in shock. "Wha-what the fuck, Louis? Is that what you think of me? Is it?"

Louis shrugs, feigning nonchalance. "I don't know, Harry. I don't know anymore."

Harry huffs, meeting Louis' eyes coldly. "Listen, Louis. You know that's not what _this_ " he points a finger back and forth between them "is about but if you don't want to talk about it then fine. Just don't fucking come at me with stupid accusations when you know damn well that I would never do something like that."

Louis knows they're dancing around the real issue but if he keeps up with this argument then he can avoid the other. _Plain and simple_ , he assures himself. "Like I said, Harry. I don't know anymore." He crosses his arms over his chest and looks away avoiding eye contact at all costs. He can't back down. He won't.

"So that's it then?" Harry gets in his face, trying to catch his eyes unsuccessfully.

Louis flinches, squeezing his eyes shut at the sudden closeness. Harry's breath is hot on his face, his strong hands come up to grip Louis' arms gently. "Lou?"

Louis opens one eye at the gentle tone to find a warmth in Harry's eyes he's never quite seen before. Louis opens his other eye. They're so close, Harry's breath ghosts over his lips, stale beer and peppermint.

He could kiss him right now. Louis could just lean a bit forward and then...

Louis _licks_ his lips mindlessly and Harry's eyes follow the movement his own lips beginning to part.

"H-Harry," Louis whispers, voice rough. "Harry, I..."

He feels the other boy freeze.

And then Harry is releasing Louis' arms, taking a step back with a clear look of confusion on his face. "Ummm..."

Louis feels the lump in his throat returning but this time is too weak with emotion to fight it. So once again the dam bursts. "Whatever, Harry. Go get rich and famous. I don't care. Just don't think I'll be waiting for your sorry ass when you and this girl break up and you have no 'connections' anymore and you're looking for a shoulder to cry on." He is full on sobbing now as Harry stands there unmoving, mouth clamped shut and eyes fixed on Louis. There's a flash of... _something_ in his friend's eyes, but Louis' vision is too blurry with tears to decipher it.

There's a long stretch of silence as the two boys stand facing one another, steps apart, both with their arms crossed across their chests. Louis' resigned to rubbing his cheeks and nose against his shoulder to rid himself of the wetness because he's metaphorically trying to hold himself together with his arms. It's not really working.

"Fine." Harry finally whispers, hoarsely. His breath is shaky and Louis feels a tug deep in his chest.

Louis clears his throat, his eyes dropping to the floor to avoid Harry's undoubtedly affected gaze. "Fine."

"Have a nice life, Lou."

"Yeah. You too," Louis snaps, voice trembling.

And the last thing Louis remembers about the last time he spoke to Harry is the slamming of his front door as his former best friend disappeared through it.

 

*** **Present Day** ***

 

"So. Was it hard?" Harry asks, looking upon Louis with a serious and questioning gaze. "Coming out, I mean?"

"Um...not really. I guess I kind of knew for a while and my mom had suspected. Never having a girlfriend throughout high school even though all of my friends always seemed to have one kind of got her thinking."

"You could have just been a late bloomer," Harry replies with a shrug.

"Yeah, but as we both now know her suspicions were correct," Louis laughs, good-naturedly.

Harry smiles but then suddenly his expression turns serious. His brow furrowing as he directs his attention to his cappuccino, swirling the cup around in his hand to mix in the cinnamon more thoroughly. He clears his throat. "You know...I-I kind of suspected, too. That you...well that you weren't straight."

And Louis' fine. He's peachy. He's been out and proud now for five whole years. Even marched in the NYC Pride Parade last year with a few of his friends from his journalism class.

But this was the first time discussing his sexuality with Harry. And for some reason the only emotion that comes over him is embarrassment. Not embarrassment over his sexuality. Not at all. Embarrassment because he knows _why_ Harry had suspected that Louis was gay.

"Yeah?" Louis' voice cracks with the question, his nerves getting the best of him. He doesn't want to go there but they're both grown men now. No need to dwell on silly little crushes and hopeless infatuations. He can be adult about this whole thing now. He really can. He's proud of who he is _now_ so why be ashamed of something silly like his asinine crush on Harry all those years ago.

He clears his throat and shifts in his seat. Harry's eyes follow the motion and Louis senses Harry wants desperately to say something but can't seem to get it out.

Finally, Louis puts him out of his misery. "Had a pretty big crush on you, actually. Which I suspect you might have known. Am I right?"

Though Harry doesn't answer, the look on his face says it all. He blushes, a smile twisting up one corner of his mouth as he takes a sip of his drink.

"Yeah. Yeah, I thought so." Louis' surprised with how calm he feels with his revelation which, it seems, was not such a revelation after all. He actually feels a shit ton of weight lifted off of his shoulders, like he can breathe easy. Finally.

"Actually, you...you kind of made me realize-" Harry stammers, but just at that moment a spiky blonde-haired, blue-eyed man bursts through the front door, his face flushed like he just ran a marathon to get there. And he heads straight for their table.

"Harry! We're gonna be late," the man pants, his Irish accent clear as day. "Sorry." He looks apologetically between the two of them briefly before attempting to catch his breath with a wavering smile.

Harry puts a hand on the man's heaving shoulders and gives a quick, soothing squeeze. "Calm down, Ni." He looks at Louis with a smile in his eyes. "Louis. This is Niall, my assistant. Ni this is Louis."

Niall gives a quick wave, apology for the interruption clear in his eyes and Louis returns the gesture with a polite smile. "I hate to intrude but the children's hospital called and they said that they need us there before 1:30 and it's a madhouse over in that area so we have to leave like now, boss."

Louis quirks an eyebrow in amusement at the nickname. _Boss?_

Harry peers at his watch, eyebrows furrowed and nods. "Yeah. Yeah. Ok. We better go." He looks up with an apologetic smile. "Lou, I'm so sorry. I'm meeting a sick little girl through Make-A-Wish and it was initially scheduled for 2:00 so I thought we'd have more time."

Louis waves him off but the feeling of disappointment is tangible. He smiles ruefully. "S'okay. We'll see each next weekend anyway."

Harry's frown deepens. "But we barely even got to talk."

"Why don't you come out with us tonight? Right, Harry?" Niall smiles, inclining his head in question. He looks like a shaggy puppy waiting for a treat, tail wagging expectantly.

Louis thinks he likes this guy. "Tonight?"

Harry suddenly reaches out across the table, grabbing Louis' wrist. "Yes! That's a great idea!"

"It is?" Louis laughs at his friend’s, _former_ (?) friend's, enthusiasm. He nearly misses the tingling sensation beginning to emanate from underneath the hand now squeezing his wrist excitedly. "W-What's tonight?"

"Harry has a signing at a record store in Williamsburg this evening and then he's giving a little performance of his new single there. Probably gonna stop at a pub or something afterwards so should be fun."

Louis looks between the two men who look at him questioningly, a hopeful glint in Harry's eyes. "Sure. Why the hell not."

 

 

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While Louis very much thinks he needs to expand his wardrobe the longer Harry is in town, he is able to find a nice fitting pair of dark blue jeans and a nearly see-thru black long sleeve shirt. His ass looks amazing as always. He's late getting to the record store and by the time he finds a parking spot close by Harry has finished his signing and is about to perform. At the very back of the store there is a stage and Louis spots Harry adjusting his microphone as he settles onto a stool. Louis can't help the attraction he still holds towards the man and Harry's not making it easier on him what with wearing a half-buttoned black shirt with white piping, skin tight black jeans with the knees shredded and shiny snakeskin boots. The man is the epitome of a rock star, exuding sex-appeal from his pores. His shoulder length waves shine beneath the spotlight and his eyes, at least to Louis, shine just as brightly.

Despite mastering the looks of a rock star, Harry does seem a bit nervous which Louis thinks is odd given that this is basically what Harry does for a living. But he can't ignore the shaky fingers and tremble in Harry's voice as he adjusts his guitar strap and introduces himself to the crowd of about 50 or so people.

["Um...so. I'm Harry Styles."](http://daniellavictoriaao3.tumblr.com/image/145781034966)

A few quiet cheers can be heard and a ripple of excited applause accompanies it.

Harry nods in thanks, his dazzling smile illuminating the crowd.

"Thank you. Thank you guys. Um. It's really a pleasure to be here so close to my home base." He strums a few cords on his guitar before continuing. "I spent some time on the West Coast trying to get my career started and now I'm happy to be back. Happy to share my music with you lovely people." Some more cheers ripple through the crowd as Harry starts to strum the beginnings of a slow tune.

When Harry left, Louis swore to himself that if Harry ever did make it famous he would avoid everything that had to do with the man. His music. Anything said about him in the media. Once, when Louis was in line at the supermarket a couple of years ago, he caught a glimpse of a gossip rag with a pic of Harry and some tall, model-type brunette holding hands on the cover. It was a tabloid that his little sister read quite often and he prayed she wouldn't see fit to purchase this particular one knowing how he made his wishes clear that he wanted _nothing_ to do with the man.

And, even though all of his sisters seemed to _love_ Harry's music, they respected his wishes as odd as they thought they were. So, in all honesty, Louis has never heard nor seen Harry perform _any_ of his music aside from that which he heard before Harry left for L.A.

So when the light strumming becomes more methodical, and as the lights come down and Harry is bathed in a soft light, Louis begins to slowly make his way to the front.

"This is my new single and I'd like to dedicate it to an old friend of mine who's here tonight."

Louis stops dead in his tracks and he's too focused on Harry, eyes drifting shut and fingers still strumming softly, to notice the many heads peeking over their shoulders wondering who Harry could be talking about.

_If I could fly..._

_I'd be coming right back home to you_

_I think I might..._

_give up everything just ask me to_

 

Louis' heart is in his throat and he wishes Harry would open his eyes if only to see him looking at some old girlfriend standing in front of the stage because. Because Harry couldn't be singing this song to _him_. Could he? _No..._

The long column of Harry's neck is shining with the beginnings of perspiration and Louis is lost in the light, his mouth watering. The deep, throaty rumble of Harry's voice doing things to him that he hasn't felt in _years_.

 

_Pay attention_

_I hope that you listen_

_Cause I let my guard down_

_Right now I'm completely defenseless_

 

Louis realizes he's holding his breath as he watches Harry's eyes drift slowly open searching the crowd for something, _someone_ , but not being able to see past the glare of the lights. The green of his eyes is intense, his brows furrowed with determination as if Harry absolutely must find what, _who_ , he's looking for in order to continue.

Before he realizes it Louis' chest is pressed against the stage, mesmerized as Harry continues. But before his friend opens his mouth to sing his next verse he spots Louis and Harry's eyes cling to him, watching him.

Louis blinks, suddenly lightheaded.

 

_For your eyes only_

_I show you my heart_

_For when you're lonely_

_And forget who you are_

_I'm missing half of me_

_When we're apart_

_Now you know me_

_For your eyes only_

_For your eyes only..._

 

Ok. This obviously is _not_ meant for him. This is a _love_ song. Not something you would sing to your ex-best friend. Your very _male_ ex-best friend. Despite Louis' assurance to himself that Harry had not meant him when he was dedicating this song to an old friend here tonight he can't help how his heart continues to race.

 

_I've got scars_

_Even though they can't always be seen_

_And pain gets hard_

_But now you're here and I don't feel a thing_

 

Harry's eyes never stray from Louis as he finishes out the song and Louis is left confused and honestly a bit numb. _What in the fuck was that?_

It was absolutely beautiful and Harry looked absolutely beautiful performing it but...but _what the fuck was that?_

 

He watches as Harry thanks the crowd. He watches as he bows graciously with his hands in prayer pose first at left, then at center, then at the right side of the stage. He watches as Harry begins to descend the stairs, the crowd applauding raucously. And he watches as Harry's eyes seek him out once again and find him, a soul melting smile crinkling his whole face.

Louis feels his feet moving as if in a dream and before he can stop himself he is next to Harry.

"Hi." Harry smiles down at him.

Louis opens his mouth to speak as his eyes search Harry's face with a questioning gaze but he's not sure what to say.

"Did you like it?" Harry asks, a hopeful glint in his eyes. "The song, I mean. Did you...did you like it?" He watches Louis in waiting silence as the other man fumbles for words.

"I-I..."

Suddenly Harry's gaze darts somewhere over Louis' shoulder and Louis watches as Harry's eyes slowly widen in surprise on a sharp inhale and his Adam's Apple bobs noticeably. Louis sees the sudden flex of Harry's jaw muscle like he's just a tad uncomfortable with whatever or _who_ ever he sees. His brow wrinkles and when his eyes meet Louis' once again his expression has become almost...apologetic. And then, right before Louis' eyes, Harry's expression switches to one of pleasant surprise. "Um...Kendall! You made it!"

"Yessss!" A female voice comes from over Louis' shoulder. "Like I would miss it!"

Louis stiffens as the owner of the voice appears from behind him as a tall, leggy, _gorgeous_ brunette who he immediately recognizes as the model that was on the cover of that gossip rag with Harry. Kendall something-or-other.

Louis gives her a once-over as she embraces Harry and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and that's when reality slams into Louis like a freight train.

_I'm so fucking stupid. Just...stop being so goddamned delusional, Louis! It only leads to disappointment._

So with a deep breath and a new conviction that this is a brief interlude of catching up with an old _friend_ between him and Harry before Harry jets off to his perfectly hot girlfriend and rock star life, he pastes on a smile. Fake as all hell but a smile nonetheless.

Louis fidgets as Harry and Kendall say their hello's, and he braces himself for the inevitable kiss between the boyfriend and girlfriend that strangely...never comes.

Instead...

"How long has it been, Kenny? Two...two and a half years now?" Harry says as 'Kenny' readjusts her Chanel handbag over her shoulder with a flip of her long, dark hair.

_Well that's...that's a bit odd. So, maybe they...broke up?_

The girl groans, giving a playful shove to Harry's shoulder. "Yeah! So glad we're finally in the same place at the same time!"

And she has that nasally rich girl voice that Louis can't stand. The one that those spoiled, no-talent reality stars getting by on their looks and mommy and daddy's money always seem to have. Louis has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. But this girl was definitely born to be a model. All leggy and long-necked, not a hair or thread out of place. Someone who could make a potato sack look elegant. Louis realizes this girl, this _beauty_ was _the_ girl. The girl that Harry had left him for. Well, left _New York_ for really. But Louis isn't under the delusion that it doesn't mean the exact same thing to him. Here was the girl that had taken precedence over Louis in Harry's life all those years ago. And as she turns her nearly black irises on him, her pin-straight dark, brown tresses shiny under the overheads, Louis swallows his pride. "Hi. I'm-"

"Louis!"

Louis pauses, eyebrows shooting up in shock as the girl seems to already know who he is and has taken it upon herself to pull him to her chest in a bone-crushing hug.

"Ummmm...yeah," Louis eeks out, his voice muffled in her hair. "Hi."

Kendall steps back and surveys him from head to toe approvingly, her perfectly lip-glossed bottom lip firmly between her teeth, before finally meeting his eyes with a wink. "He _is_ gorgeous, Harry," she practically purrs. "I can definitely see why you-"

Harry loudly clears his throat, the look of unease made clear by the furrow in his brow and how he can't meet Louis' eyes.

_See why he WHAT???_

"Kenny! You made it!" comes the familiar Irish accent as Niall, Harry's assistant, returns from putting Harry's equipment away somewhere behind the curtain. He and the girl greet each other off to the side and he's left standing face to face with a fidgeting Harry, eyes downcast as he shuffles towards Louis.

The crowd is dispersing around them, having gotten to meet Harry earlier at the record signing has left very few autograph seekers. The lights have turned on and a clean-up crew is just now sweeping along the floor in front of the stage.

Harry opens his mouth to speak just as a man Louis assumes is the owner or manager of the store comes over to shake Harry's hand and thank him for his appearance. At the same time a woman in a white pinstriped pantsuit and cat eye glasses strides up next to Harry. Louis learns the woman is Eileen, Harry's publicist, as she quickly introduces herself and let's Harry know that 'everything has been taken care of' and 'my job is done here' before she's dashing off to catch her plane back to L.A.

Louis has just been silently observing the goings on while the whole time his heart hammers away in his chest, his mouth has gone dry and he can't seem to tear his eyes away from Harry's profile.

Finally, _finally_ they are left alone, Niall and Kenny still chattering a couple yards away.

Licking his lips nervously, Harry raises his eyes to meet Louis'. "So. We should get going. Haven't had a chance to talk and there's...there's some things I-I really need to tell you." Despite speaking in his slow, deliberate drawl Harry is tripping over his words and practically vibrating with nervous energy.

Louis observes him quizzically before slowly nodding. "Yeah. Yeah. Let's get out of here."

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

Kendall had air-kissed them all goodbye before she hopped in a cab heading to the city for some party. Louis wasn't really paying attention. He was just happy to see her go.

It's only a five-minute walk to the bar all of which, after packing away the equipment in the back of the van Harry had rented, were spent in relative silence. The establishment is actually quite big, the first floor being almost completely centered by a rectangular bar, able to cater to all sides of the crowd at all times. There is a wide open second floor where booths can clearly be seen lining the perimeter. The loud hum of the patrons is equal to the sound system playing the newest Coldplay song.

"I called ahead. Our table is upstairs. #8." Niall gave a brief nod towards the stairs at the back of the bar. "Head on up. I'm just gonna go out for a smoke real quick."

Louis thinks he could use one himself right about now.

"Gotta quit that, Ni," Harry groans, worriedly. He gives his assistant's arm a gentle squeeze.

Niall rolls his eyes good-naturedly before reaching into his pocket for his pack of Parliaments and making his way to the exit.

At the top of the landing a hostess greets them and, after Harry gives his name, directs them to their booth. "A waitress will be with you very shortly." Louis can't help but notice the slow once over she gives Harry, her red-glossed lower lip caught firmly between her teeth. He also can't help the rising level of jealousy he feels deep in his gut.

"Thank you." Louis says pointedly, catching the hostess' eye.

Instead of being embarrassed at being caught ogling she has the nerve to fucking _wink_! _At Louis!_ "You boys enjoy your night." She practically purrs.

Harry slides into the booth and regards her with a smile, oblivious that he was just dissected piece by piece by her hungry gaze. "Thank you very much. We will."

Louis feels the immediate urge to slide in next to Harry, throw his arm over his shoulder, and pull Harry to his chest possessively. But...he knows he's being ridiculous. These are the reactions and emotions Harry always seemed to bring out in Louis. At least...when they were friends. And those emotions and reactions were a big part of why Louis had been so reluctant to reconnect with his old friend in the first place. He knows he has no right to feel anything of the sort or react like a jealous boyfriend when...when they aren't even _friends_ anymore, for fuck's sake!

After the waitress arrives and collects their drink orders, Niall finally makes his way upstairs huffing and puffing. "Guys. Harry. I just got a call from Kenny." His flushed face is lit up like a Christmas tree, his smile contagious. "She just spoke to Barbara and she's asking about me! Barbara actually asked about me, Harry!" He slides into the booth on the other side of Harry practically bouncing with excitement.

"Oh, shit, Ni! What'd she say?" Harry seems equally enthusiastic about this news and Louis can't help notice how adorable the two of them are together. He suspects their relationship exceeds the roll of employer/employee and is more of a close friendship. He feels that tug of jealousy again, but for a completely different reason.

Turns out 'Barbara' is a modelling colleague of Kenny's and an ex-love of Niall's. An ex-love that Niall very admittedly was not in the least bit over. Both Kendall and Barbara were attending a casual industry get-together in the village and Kendall, after noticing Barbara's pique in interest at the mention of her ex's name, invited Niall as well as Harry to drop by.

"This could be my second chance, you know." Niall pops a stick of gum in his mouth, his eyes darting between the other two men, excitedly.

"That's great, man," Louis smiles.

"Yeah. Good for you Niall!" Harry pats him on the back. "You wanna take the van or..."

"You're gonna come right?" Niall interjects, eyebrow cocked expectantly.

"Ummm..." Harry tilts his head in deliberation, nose scrunched and eyes all squinty.  His eyes dart over to Louis before he returns his gaze to his assistant. "I'm pretty exhausted, to be honest."

_Oh..._

_Well then..._

"It's fine, Harry. You can go. I'm getting tired anyway." Louis practically grumbles, fed up. Number one: He didn't agree to meet up with Harry just to be ditched by the old 'I'm getting kind of tired' excuse. And number 2: He didn't ask for any of this. If Harry wanted to meet up with his gorgeous ex and is using this 'Barbara' as an excuse to get out of hanging out with him then...then he can just fuck off!

"No!"

And now there's a hand gripping his elbow, stopping Louis from leaving. The touch is all too familiar and Louis shivers.

"Please. I want to stay here. With you." Harry's voice holds a note of pleading that's reflected in his eyes and that Louis just can't ignore. He slowly relaxes back into his seat, a questioning gaze fixed on Harry's profile as Harry reaches into his own pocket to extract a set of car keys.

He then turns to Niall, dropping the keys on the table in front of his assistant. "Take the van. I'll catch a ride with Lou and stay by my mom's tonight." He gives Niall's shoulder a playful punch. "Go get 'er tiger!"

Apparently Niall didn't need much more convincing because within seconds he was gone. On his way to hopefully get his second chance. Louis is quite excited for him, to be honest. He believes in second chances...

The smiles they had caught from Niall's infectious exuberance still on their faces, the two old friends are now alone in each other's company.

Harry turns to Louis, eyes still alight with the thought of his assistant's, his _friend's_ , prospect of happiness. "I really hope it works out for him. He's been miserable without her."

"Yeah?"

Harry gives a quick nod, smile fading slowly. "She had just signed her modelling contract with Ford when her and Niall met two years ago. Ni was with me by then and it seemed like we were never in the same place as she was. So it was like they never got to see each other."

"That sucks."

"Yeah. But, fuck. When they _were_ together..." Harry trails off, eyebrows raising over shining eyes.

"That good?" Louis chuckles, the tension that had been tightening his muscles giving way bit by bit.

"Good?" Harry laughs. "Inseparable is more like it. She's a _great_ girl. So down to earth and sweet. So kind. They were best friends and it was so hard to see them break up."

Louis nods, lips pressed into a thin line. He knows a thing or two about best friends parting ways and all that and his thoughts flood back to he and Harry.

The waitress comes with their drinks then. A Jack and Coke for Harry and an Amstel Light on tap for Louis.

"So this is like our first _legal_ drink together," Louis realizes, the thought both pleasant and remorseful. They have missed so much with each other and Louis doesn't know if he can hold onto his resentment any longer if it means not getting to have more of these firsts with Harry.

Harry's eyebrows shoot up, glass paused halfway to his lips. "Oh, my God. You're right!" And then he's laughing. "Holy shit! You're right!"

Though Louis' confused by Harry's rather odd reaction he can't help but find the man's laughter contagious. "What's so funny?" he asks through a curious smile.

Harry's laughter dies down as his now misty eyes find Louis'. He shakes his head dismissively, a smile still quirking up a corner of his mouth. "I just..." he huffs out a small laugh. "I remember our last drink together not being...as pleasant." Harry's eyes fall to the table in front of him as Louis shifts in his seat at the memory. "And here we are. Five years later. And I...God! So much has happened, you know. So many things you don't know. That I need to tell you. It's just...it's just been so crazy!"

Louis sighs audibly when Harry finishes speaking, reaching a hand to rub some of the newly placed tension out of his neck. "Kendall? Your music career taking off almost the minute you left? I'd say that's a lot." There's no bitterness in his voice now and he mentally gives himself a pat on the back. He lifts his mug to tap Harry's glass, currently clenched in his friend's hands on the table, in cheers.

Louis watches as the muscles in Harry's jaw flex, Harry's eyebrows drawing together as he worries the soft flesh of his plush lower lip. There is a noticeable increase in tension electrifying the air between them. 

Louis taps his mug lightly against Harry's glass when he doesn't raise it in toast anyway. The other man's mood seemingly darkens and Louis can't help his instinctual response. He scoots over towards Harry, the man's green eyes glued to his movement in question.

"I'm happy for you, Harry. Despite the way we left things I really am so happy for you." He nudges Harry's side with his elbow with a reassuring smile that Harry returns, eyes misty. This close he doesn't have to raise his voice and their conversation begins to seem a bit more intimate. Like a threshold has been breached in the rekindling of their friendship.

A slow smile spreads across Harry's face, dimples out in full force. "Thanks," he rasps, clearly overcome with emotion.

They're so close in proximity now that Louis can feel the heat of the other man's body, smell the sweet, earthy musk of his, more than likely, expensive cologne. It was strangely arousing and yet not strange at all. This boy. This _man_ was his best friend for years but he has been the unrequited love of Louis' life for the past decade. A love that, despite Harry not even really being aware of it, had given Louis the courage to come out.

 

*** **flashback** ***

 

Louis hadn't moved much from his window seat for the first few days after Harry left. He watched as storm after summer storm left his backyard dotted with puddles all the time wondering if Harry had a tan yet courtesy of the California sun. His tears flowed freely, staining his cheeks over and over again as they dried only to return again. The tears never seemed to stop those first few days. He thought of how Harry leaving had left an ever growing hole in his heart. A hole that, he realizes, had been occupied by Harry and _only_ Harry for the past five years. He's feeling a bit pathetic but it's not like there were any other prospects in his school. So far as he knew there weren't any other gay boys in his class or even the school. Again, it being an all boys' Roman Catholic high school run by priests and brothers really didn't promote a 'gay is okay' environment.

He realized he couldn't resent Harry for not sharing his feelings. Of not... _wanting_...of not... _loving_ him. How could he? Harry couldn't help that he was straight the same way that Louis couldn't help that he was gay. But Louis also couldn't help that he was insanely jealous and crushed knowing Harry's future path in life wouldn't include him but a gorgeous model he basically just fucking met! He needed time to wallow in misery and jealousy. But he swore that once his little pity party was over he was going to find someone to fill the gaping hole that Harry left in his heart. In his life.

But...first things first.

He'd have to officially come out.

 

 

*** **present day** ***

 "I tried calling you, y'know?"

Louis' eyebrows raise at the crack in Harry's voice, the other man leaning into Louis' side heavily. Louis had changed his number a week after Harry had left, still reeling with feelings of resentment and hurt.

"You changed your number though." Harry takes a sip of his drink then, eyes never leaving the table. Louis can hear the hurt and pain in his voice now and he has no doubt that it's reflected in Harry's eyes as well even if the man won't look at him now. "Which made it pretty clear you _really_ didn't want to speak to me ever again. So...I didn't bother asking around for your new number. As much as I really wanted to I...I had to respect what  _you_ wanted, right?"

Louis struggles to find the right words to express what it is he needs to say to his former best friend. He realizes now, seeing how their separation has affected Harry as well, that they've wasted too much time not speaking. Not being in each other's lives. Too long.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. I was dealing with my own shit and I took it out on you. It wasn't fair of me and I treated you like shit because...because I liked you and I knew you couldn't feel the same about me. I was just jealous of your girlfriend and...I'm so fucking sorry." The words rush out in a torrent before Louis can lose his nerve.

Harry nods slowly, staring intently at his thumb as he brushes away the condensation forming on his glass. "Ok." He looks up then, meeting Louis' eyes with a tearful and timid smile. "Apology accepted."

Louis comically breathes a sigh of relief. "Yeah?"

Harry laughs. "Yeah."

Louis instinctually throws an arm around Harry's shoulders and gives his arm a squeeze. It feels so good to just fall back in like this with his old friend. Even if it is simply as a friend. He'll take it and be grateful.

Harry's smile slowly fades as he meets Louis' smiling eyes. "And I'm sorry too. That I ever made you feel like I chose Kendall over you," he says softly. "But there's so much you don't know, Lou. So much we need to talk about. First of all, Kendall and I broke up after like six months but we're still friends, obviously. She's great but...I realized my heart wasn't in it, you know." Nervously, he moistens his lips watching Louis with a look that says there is more to what he is saying. Some underlying message that Louis should be picking up on.

Louis sighs heavily, oblivious. "I was being childish, H. I knew your music meant the world to you and if you had the opportunity to do great things with it I should have been behind you 100%. Not having a fit because I couldn't have you the way I wanted." Louis shakes his head at his past behavior, eyes soft and apologetic. Regret flowing over him in waves.

Harry's tongue darts out to moisten his lower lip quirking an eyebrow in intrigue. "And what way was that?" His voice sounds rough and deep and Louis feels his cock begin to fill up at the sound. He is and always has been embarrassingly affected by this man. Plus, he hasn't gotten laid in over six months so who could blame his body for responding so readily to such a sexy fucking voice.

Louis' breath catches as Harry's eyes dart down to his mouth awaiting a reply. _Why does this feel like he's trying to get a rise out of me?_

He can feel the heat of the other man's stare on his lips and he moistens them refusing to feel embarrassed by what he is about to say. "Oh I think you have an idea of what way I wanted you, Harry."

Harry's eyes darken and an almost imperceptible groan falls from his slowly parting lips.

And yeah. Louis is flirting. But he's pretty sure _they_ are flirting with _each other_. He's also pretty sure that he should have dropped his arm from around Harry's shoulders because he's awfully close to jumping into this man's lap and tearing the last three buttons of his shirt off to get at his tan, muscled, tattooed chest. Harry just...he smells so _fucking good!_ And Louis misses him. Misses just the playful way they used to touch and joke around. The crazy tickle fights they used to have, the impromptu piggy-back rides first Louis used to give Harry and then, as they got older and Harry grew taller, Harry gave to Louis. The playful way Louis would rake his fingers through Harry's fluffy curls making the boy's eyes fall shut in contentment at the touch.

Louis’ suspicions are pretty much confirmed when Harry slowly drags his tongue across his bottom lip, eyes dark with something that makes Louis’ pulse quicken. Leaning in close, his lips grazing the shell of Louis’ ear, Harry whispers seductively, “What makes you so sure you couldn’t have had me?”

An electrifying shudder runs through Louis’ body and he lets out a soft gasp of surprise at Harry’s words. “Wha-,” he begins, words getting caught in his throat in an unnaturally high pitch. He clears his throat and begins again. “What…um. Uh…what?”

With a wry smile Harry exhales loudly, leaning back in his seat as he downs the rest of his Jack and Coke. He shrugs his shoulder and gives Louis a sidelong glance. "Told you there was a lot we needed to talk about."

Louis quickly throws back the rest of his beer and says “I think I need another drink.”

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

"So...I'm bisexual."

Louis nods in slow understanding. "And...when did this happen?" _You idiot! 'When did this happen?' You of all fucking people-_

"I actually officially came out recently, but…I think I've always known." Harry sighs, turning in his seat to face a shell-shocked Louis. He scrunches up his nose with a tilt of his head as if in thought. "I knew for sure the night of our graduation." 

"Oh!" As if Louis could forget _that_ night. "What made you...um...what made you realize..."

Harry reaches out, encircling Louis' wrist with his hand and bringing both to rest on his knee.  "I had a crush on you too, Lou."

Louis' eyebrows shoot up at the revelation. "Wha-"

But Harry presses on before he loses his courage to be completely truthful. _Finally_ getting to reveal his long held secret from the boy who had unknowingly stolen a piece of his heart all those years ago.

"It's...I thought it was just like...I don't know...like hero worship or something. But then...then what happened in the pool..." Harry's full lips crease with ill-suppressed humor.

Louis groans, turning away and finishing off the last of his third beer of the night.

Harry chuckles and pokes Louis in the arm. "No! No, look at me, Lou. Look at me." He's laughing but it's not _at_ Louis and Louis can tell Harry isn't doing it out of malice. Soon Louis is laughing along with him.

"I couldn't help it. You looked...you...when the hell did you start working out? I jump in the pool and next thing I see is you all wet and muscly. Like...it was a natural reaction!"

Harry's laughter grows louder and he grips his sides while Louis looks on fondly. Louis' missed this man's laugh, this man's smile, immensely.

"Well then my reaction was natural, too! Why do you think I sent Liam and Zayn after you and didn't just go after you myself?"

Louis' brows furrow in contemplation. "I don't...I...why?"

Harry chuckles, leaning in to whisper "Let's just say that when I felt you on my neck _my_ body's natural reaction is what made me realize that I may like cock a little more than the average straight guy should."

Louis' eyes go wide as the realization hits him. "I...you...because of my...” He lets out a groan, head falling into his hands dramatically before looking back up at Harry with a smile in his eyes. “I _really_ wish I would have known that. Would've saved me a fuck ton of embarrassment. If I had known it turned you on I would've stayed on your shoulders for the rest of the night." Louis splutters out a laugh and Harry's grin widens slowly in relief at his friend's reaction.

 

*** **flashback** ***

The way Louis' eyes had raked over his body, his lips parted and eyes dark, made Harry's skin tingle and his heartbeat flutter. It was a strange new feeling and he realized with a start that he would quite like it if Louis always looked at him in that way. Like he wanted to devour every inch of Harry's body. It made him feel... _sexy_. _Wanted_. _Hungry_. And not for food. He was grateful the moment Zayn had jumped in the pool causing a distraction. Harry's cock had begun to grow in interest under Louis' heated stare.

_What the fuck does this mean?_

After Liam jumped in Harry made the decision to follow. There was enough of a distraction that no one would notice his semi as he cannonballed in. Brushing off his body's confusing reaction, Harry sneakily swam between Louis' legs to hoist him up on his shoulders for a chicken fight. Only, as he secured Louis' thighs on his shoulders and stood up out of the water... 

The hardness pressed against the back of Harry's neck was unmistakable. And _Oh, God!_ is he affected. Even more than before. He suddenly has the urge to lean into the feeling. So, _so_ close. He could practically taste it. He... _wanted_ to taste it.

His mouth goes dry instantly and when Louis starts struggling and begging for him to release him it becomes clear why. _He_ was the reason for Louis' hard-on. The reason for his friend's arousal. And, with a start, Harry is suddenly _so extremely_ turned on!

As he watches a painfully embarrassed and blushing Louis rush out of the pool and into his house, Harry's mind is awash with possibilities. Sure he liked to joke that until the perfect girl came along...well. He had Louis. The thoughts of Louis having an insanely perfect body were just Harry appreciating the work Louis puts in to his game. The boy played soccer like a pro and Harry never missed a game. He was so dedicated to letting Louis know he was doing a good job that the guys called Harry Louis' biggest cheerleader and kidded him about getting a little mini skirt and pom-poms to surprise Louis. He had brushed the comments off but he couldn't deny his slight arousal at the thought of the look of pleasant surprise Louis would have over seeing him in the costume. Because Harry kind of had a little bit of a tiny feeling that Louis may have an interest in the same sex. In  _him_ in particular. If the whispers from some of their classmates were to be believed. And when he had initially overheard said whispers he remembers feeling...flattered. And something else.

Their friend Tony had cornered him one day after one of Louis' games taking Harry aside to speak in private. Tony asked whether or not he and Louis were... _a thing_. Because a bunch of 'the guys' were wondering because of how tactile they were with their affection towards one another. How they were nearly inseparable. How, at times, Harry seemed to _encourage_ Louis' flirtations.

At the time Harry had been seeing some girl so he easily dismissed Tony's question with an 'I have a girlfriend' excuse. But now, looking back, he realizes he never really touched on how he felt about the possibility of he and Louis being... _more_ than friends. He didn't care in the least if people thought they were 'together' but Louis hadn't made any proclamation, at least to Harry, that he was anything other than straight. So it wasn't Harry's place to discuss his friend's sexuality with anyone other than Louis himself. So any further discussion between he and Tony on the topic was quickly closed.

But the thought of Louis' possible crush on him only made Harry _more_ tactile. _More_ affectionate. Because...well, because he loved Louis. As a friend, he told himself. And as a friend he knew that a sure way for Louis to be happy, any one really, would be if his crush showered him with attention. But...Harry didn't mind showing Louis more affection. Touching him, cuddling him. In fact, he found it came quite naturally and without hesitation. Flirtatious banter was an everyday thing for he and Louis as were the side-eyes from their friends because of it. Harry didn't care who thought what about the two of them as long as Louis was smiling. As long as Louis was happy. 

And now...Louis is clearly mortified because he _knows_ that Harry has felt his hard-on on the back of his neck.

Has been 'found out'.

He watches Liam run after Louis and he realizes at that very moment that his own erection is still tenting his trunks inconspicuously under water.

"Zayn. Go after them!" He doesn't mean it to come out sounding like a demand but by the way Zayn flinches he knows that's exactly the way it does.

He'll apologize later.

Right now he just needs to concentrate on things other than the way Louis' cock felt on the back of his neck so that he can finally get out of the pool to have a very interesting conversation with his best friend. They had a lot that they both needed to get out in the open.

 

 

*** **present day** ***

 

The waitress comes back just then, smiling warmly at their laughter. "Can I get you guys another round," she asks, clearing their empty glasses.

Harry looks at Louis questioningly and Louis responds with a nod. "Fourth round it is!" Harry shouts, slapping a hand on the table in front of him with a massive grin. "Maybe some champagne?"

The waitress laughs as she arranges their empty glasses on her tray. "Celebrating? What's the occasion?"

Harry turned to Louis and the air crackled with awareness as they stared at each other. Without looking away from Louis, Harry responded to the waitress' question. "I just got my best friend back."

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

They make it back to Wilson Park, opting to take a cab seeing as Louis was in absolutely no condition to drive.

Louis watches as his friend tiptoes comically up to his front door before turning back towards the cab with a finger pressed to his lips, eyes round and earnest. “Shhhh,” Harry whispers before his shoulders begin to shake with ill-suppressed giggles.

“What an idiot,” Louis slurs, a fond smile creeping across his face unknowingly. He wiggles his fingers in goodbye as Harry finally makes it across the threshold, shutting the door behind him.

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

The next morning, Louis wakes to the incessant buzzing of his cell phone still wedged in his back pocket of the jeans he wore last night that he apparently was too far gone to slip out of seeing as his ass is now vibrating.

Under other circumstances, Louis thinks he might enjoy the feeling but seeing as how he can feel the pounding of his heart beat in his eyeballs the need for sleep outweighs anything else. With a groan he reaches into his pocket ready to throw his cell across the room in retaliation for its rudeness.

He reflexively cracks an eye open to at least get a look at who is up so damn early, ready to ruin his day at the ass crack of dawn. Making him aware of his massive hangover before absolutely necessary is just…unnecessary, is what it is.

_Oh. 11:43. Ok, then. Not as ass crack as I thought. Still rude though._

But all thoughts of dismissing the interruption fly out the window when he sees its Harry who has sent him a text.

**Harry:** _Wakey, wakey sleepyhead. Care to join me for lunch? I’m gonna make some of my famous grilled cheese croissants. Your favorite!_

Well that has Louis jumping out of bed quite quickly, mouth already starting to water despite the cotton that has formed on his tongue overnight. His stomach is a little queasy but nothing a little cheesy croissant won’t fix. And Harry’s are the absolute _best_! Harry’s culinary expertise was one of the many reasons why Louis fell in love with the boy. ‘Way to a man’s stomach’ and all that bullshit was not so much bullshit sometimes as it was gospel.

So after a quick shower, Louis made his way over to Harry’s parents’ house just a few blocks over.

When Anne answers the door, Louis greets her with a sheepish smile. He’s embarrassed of his avoidant behavior over the years and its written all over his face. He hasn’t stepped foot in here since before his and Harry’s falling out after having spent almost every day at one or the other’s houses. Sure, he’s always been polite if he crossed paths with either Anne or Robin, Harry’s stepfather, out and about the neighborhood. But he’s never gone out of his way and that’s saying a lot considering this was like his second family aside from Liam’s.

“Louis. It’s so good to see you, hon.” Her eyes are as sparkling as ever as she pulls him to her, squeezing him gently as if to say ‘all’s forgiven’ and… ‘welcome home’.

He relaxes into her embrace with a sigh of relief just as Harry bounds down the stairs behind her.

Stopping abruptly when he sees Louis and his mom greeting each other so warmly, Harry catches Louis’ gaze with smiling eyes. “Ready for the best lunch you’ve had in the last five years?”

Anne turns to her son, her hand still resting on Louis’ shoulder. “Of course he is! It’s his favorite!”

Louis’ eyes crinkle with the enormity of his smile. _Damn, this family knows me so well…_

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

“I can’t believe this place is still here!” Harry runs his fingers lightly over the rows of comic books lining the walls of Captain Comics, an unconscious smile brightening his face.

Harry had given Niall the day off when he checked in early that morning, the happy tone of the Irishman’s voice giving his employer and friend a pretty good idea of how well last night went for him. So he and Louis had decided to spend the day together, catching up. While sober.

It’s going rather well so far, Harry thinks.

“It’s only been five years, H.” Louis doesn’t even look up from the latest Captain America comic he has his nose buried in when he rolls his eyes at his friend’s comment. It may not be Los Angeles but he thinks their little old town can handle the excitement of a fucking comic book store.

“I know, I know. Just…” Harry doesn’t complete his thought, opting to reverently rifle through some vintage Archie comics mindlessly.

Louis can’t help but smile at the look of simplistic joy in Harry’s eyes. The look of wonder that always seemed to be present whenever the two of them would pass the time after school and before dinner here, at their old haunt.

As if on autopilot, they make their way to the little lounge area in the back of the store. Beanbag chairs are set up along with small little coffee tables so customers can check out a comic book before deciding to purchase. It wasn’t the most economical business decision, as one could read till their hearts content without ever purchasing but, for whatever reason, old Captain Comic’s had always thrived.

The two men give each other a knowing smile when they see that their old favorite beanbag chair is still there. The one with rainbow cats sitting on little blue clouds was their go-to seat when they were younger. Always taking up the same position which…

Without even asking each other Harry lays his long, lithe body across the beanbag and Louis follows; stretching out with his legs in the opposite direction, their heads now resting on each other’s shoulders. Their cheeks are practically pressed against one another’s they’re so close but it’s the furthest thing from awkward. Its familiar. Comfortable.

They both choose to ignore the blush creeping up both of their necks, making their cheeks rosy with a warm glow. They’re grown men, for crying out loud, and Louis’ blushing like a school boy with a silly crush.

Well. Actually…

They spend the rest of the day together. Going for ice cream at Brothers’ Ice Cream Shoppe, another old haunt of theirs. It is a small town. They pretty much had little else to do in the neighborhood and these two places had gotten the brunt of kids’ attention when it came to after-school and weekend activities. Probably still do.

Sunday was Louis’ day for dinner at his mom’s and he didn’t give a second thought to inviting Harry along. His mother would be absolutely thrilled with the surprise guest.

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

“Oh, my God! Harry!!!” Jay squeals as soon as they pop their heads into the kitchen where she’s finishing up dressing a salad. She practically throws down the bottle of vinaigrette as she rushes over to her surprise guest, pulling him to her chest in a bone crushing embrace. “Let me have a look at you!”

She holds him out at arms-length, her eyes shining as she takes him all in. His longer hair, his obviously expensive clothes, the little hint of barely visible blond stubble peppering his chin.

Louis watches as Harry flashes Jay a brilliant smile and Louis’ own lips can’t help but quirk up as well. Harry _does_ cut an impressive form if you ask Louis.

“Gorgeous!” Jay breathes, grabbing Harry’s cheeks and bringing his face in for a kiss on each one.

Harry giggles while Louis groans at his mom’s usual overly affectionate behavior.

“Thanks, Jay. You look wonderful, as well! Haven’t aged a day.”

_Suck up!_

Jay purses her lips, a hint of a smile in her eyes as she hits him playfully on the arm. “Oh, stop it, you.”

“No. I mean it!” Harry continues.

“No. Stop it. Really,” Louis deadpans, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

Jay smirks as she picks up the oversized salad bowl and drops it in Louis’ hands. “Hush, you!” Then she places a swift peck to his cheek and motions for him to bring the salad into the dining room before turning back to the oven.

Harry comes up behind him, a hint of mischief in his eyes as he whispers “Yeah. Hush, you.”

Louis squeaks embarrassingly high when he feels the swift smack Harry lays on his ass before his friend walks ahead of him, hips swaying obscenely as he makes his way into the dining room. “Hey!”

He follows Harry who has already taken a seat next to Louis’ usual one at the table. His 14 year-old sister Felicite usually sits there but Louis has been quite enjoying the feel of Harry being in such close proximity all day so he doesn’t direct him elsewhere. And if Felicite makes a stink then he’ll just have to threaten to do something heinous like tell Jay about her secret boyfriend whom she’s not allowed to have until she’s at least 16. What are big brothers for if not to do such things, really.

“Girls! Dinner!” Jay yells up the stairs as she passes, roast in hand, into the dining room.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Jay. I should’ve helped you with that.” Harry jumps up moving to take the pan from her mitted hands. He shrieks at the burn. “Shit! Shoot! Sorry, didn’t think that through,” he says with a sheepish grin, shaking out his injured hands at his sides.

“You alright?” Louis worries. “Come on. Let’s take a look.” He takes Harry’s hands in his own as Jay quickly places the roasting pan down on the table, coming over to have a look as well.

“Oh, honey. They’re just a bit red,” Jay observes over Louis’ shoulder.

Louis’ touch is light but Harry still grimaces at the sensitivity of his own skin. “Sorry, H,” he apologizes with a soft smile.

Harry peers up at him from underneath his lashes, lower lip pressed snugly between his teeth. He whimpers and Louis melts at the sound.

The urge to wrap Harry up in his arms and press sweet and soothing kisses into his skin is almost unbearable.

“Go run them under some cold water, hon. Louis why don’t you go with him.”

Just then, Louis’ four sisters come bounding down the steps a mix of arguing who can get down the stairs first-10 year-old twins Daisy and Phoebe-and telling the others to slow down or they’ll fall and break their necks-Felicite and 18 year-old Charlotte.

When they finally all make it down the stairs in one piece and spot Harry all four glossed lips part in surprise. The twins had only been five years old when Harry left for L.A. so they really only know the Harry Styles they see on T.V. and in magazines and hear on the radio.

“Holy shit!”

“Damnit, Charlotte! Language!” Jay scolds.

“I can’t believe Harry Styles is standing in my dining room right now,” Felicite exclaims, eyes as round as saucers. “Like…this is just…flipping crazy!”

Louis rolls his eyes at his sister. “You _know_ Harry, Felicite. It’s not that big a deal.”

“Like hell-sorry-like heck it’s not!” Felicite moves to give Harry a hug. “Good to see you again, Harry.”

Charlotte, who had quite the crush on Harry when she was younger, blushes as she follows Felicite’s hug with one of her own. “Hey, super star,” she smiles, shyly. “Big fan.”

Harry laughs good-naturedly, wincing a bit as he wraps his arms around the platinum blond. “Thanks.”

Louis notices Harry’s discomfort from what happened with his hands earlier so he interrupts their little Welcome Home Harry party, grabbing Harry delicately by the wrist and pulling him out of his sister’s embrace. “H had a little accident earlier. C’mon. Let’s get some cold water on those hands of yours, babe.”

_Babe?!! Oh, God. Why the fuck did that word just come out of my mouth? I’ve never called anyone ‘babe’ why the fuck would I start now? Oh, shit. Well, I guess I know why everyone is staring at me now._

He catches Harry studying him thoughtfully before he’s averting his eyes and pulling him from the room down the hall to the bathroom.

He decides to ignore the amused mutters of “Babe? He called Harry ‘babe’!” from his sisters in favor of slamming the bathroom door.

But all hope that his slip of the tongue would be forgotten or overlooked quickly goes out the window when he and Harry are finally alone.

“You called me _babe_ ,” Harry singsongs, waggling his eyebrows seductively with a playful smirk. He takes a step closer to Louis who’s back is pressed against the door, blue eyes glued to the floor. “What’s that all about?”

Louis shrugs, swallowing audibly. “Just a term of endearment, H. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” He attempts a smile when his eyes quickly dart up to meet Harry’s gaze before returning to the floor.

Despite already being less than a foot away from him, Harry gets even closer now and they’re practically breathing the same lungful of air. “You into that, Lou?”

His voice is low, purposefully seductive and his eyes are dark with interest as they observe Louis, awaiting his answer.

Louis’ mouth goes dry and his eyes remain glued to the beige tiled floor as he combs through his fringe with shaky fingers. “What? Am I into what?”

He gasps softly when Harry leans in, lips brushing the shell of Louis’ ear when he whispers “Panties.”

The sweet bite of desire curls in Louis’ gut. His knees practically buckle at the sensation of Harry’s lips so close to his and he reflexively leans his cheek into the touch. “Ummm…uh…I…no…me?”

Harry leans back then, biting down on an amused smirk. “Just fucking with you, Lou!” He laughs, turning towards the sink and turning the cold water on with his wrist.

Louis exhales loudly, body deflating from the pent up rush of desire. He huffs out a laugh as he finds his footing and makes his way over to the sink, knees still a bit wobbly. “I knew that, you idiot.”

He grabs the hand towel off the rack to distract himself from the way Harry is gnawing on his plush, spit-slicked lower lip. One of a set that Louis was, only moments ago, fantasizing about doing insanely naughty things to.

He watches with false intensity as Harry’s reddened palms are bathed in icy water. For how long? Louis’ not sure since he’s busy hiding his semi with the lovely baby blue hand towel currently, willing it to go down with a memorized and oft-used chant of ‘ _dead kittens, naked grannies, dirty toenails, dead kittens, naked grannies, dirty toenails, go the fuck down dammit!_ ’

His concentration is broken by Harry’s voice. “It’s too bad though.”

Louis tears his eyes away from Harry’s wet hands, tilting his head in silent question when he meets his friend’s eyes.

Harry shuts off the faucet then, shaking the excess water off of his hands before grabbing the towel from Louis’ strong grip. His eyes slowly rake over Louis’ form, his eyebrow quirking seductively as it passes his friend’s unfortunately still-present semi.

Louis freezes under the scrutiny, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallows before he slowly meets Harry’s intense gaze.

“Your ass would look _amazing_ in a pair,” Harry whispers silkily in Louis’ ear, before walking past him towards the door and exiting.

Louis remains frozen and it’s several seconds before he realizes that he’s been holding his breath.

He exhales shakily, hands gripping the sink hard enough to crack the marble.

_I am so fucked…_

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

Louis is missing Harry. After spending practically every waking minute with the man since he reappeared in Louis’ life one would think that such a thing would be impossible.

On Monday, Louis had class but was practically glued to his phone for most of the day.

 

**Harry:** _Is it weird that I kind of miss you? I know we just saw each other last night but I don’t know. Is it weird? It’s weird, isn’t it? Are you in class right now? Should I not be texting you? Are you going to get in trouble?_

**Louis:** _Calm down! LOL! And no. It’s not weird. Because if it is well then I’m just as weird as you bc I miss you too. I just got you back and I feel like we need to make up for lost time within the short amount of time we have before you go back home._

**Harry:**

_Yeah._

**Louis:** _So when is that exactly?_

**Harry:** _???_

**Louis:** _When are you going back to L.A.? How long do we have together? I mean, like to hang out and stuff?_

**Harry:** _I have a photoshoot for GQ in L.A. next Monday so I’m flying back on Sunday._

**Louis:** _Oh. Well then I guess we have to get a move on with this catching up if I only have you for one more week. I guess six days really since I have evening classes as well. I won’t be able to see you tonight._

**Harry:** _Niall and I are meeting up with Barbara and some of her friends for dinner and we’ll probably get some drinks afterwards. So I wouldn’t have been able to meet up with you anyway_ _☹_

 

Louis just can’t seem to help the pang of jealousy that twists up his insides at this info because…

**Louis:** _Kendall going to be there? Tonight?_

He also can’t help the way his leg just can’t seem to stop bouncing up and down, or the overwhelming need to chew his cuticle raw as he awaits Harry’s reply. And if a few of his classmates and even Professor Whittier give him dirty looks because of his very obvious restlessness then, Louis thinks, _they can just fuck right off._

It’s a full minute before Harry is replying.

**Harry:** _Yes. I think she is._

**Harry:** _Why? You jealous? Or should I say jeaLOUIS? LOL!_

Louis huffs, rather loudly if his professor’s glare is anything to go by, before bringing his phone down to his lap and texting back.

**Louis:** _If you recall, HAROLD I am strictly dickly so no. I am not jeaLOUIS, you cornball._

**Harry:** _Oh, I wasn’t talking about you being jealous of me, babe. I meant you being jealous of KENDALL._

Louis swallows the lump of sudden nerves in his throat and hopes his heartbeat isn’t audible to the rest of the class because its fucking _pounding_ in his ears.

_Babe? Ok. That’s a thing now. And what the fuck am I supposed to say. ‘Yes. I am’??? That would open up a can of possibly awkward fucking worms._

**Louis:** _Yes. I am._

_What the fuck?!?!?!?!? Why isn’t there a goddamned unsend button?!?!??!?!?!?!_

Another minute passes of Louis sweating nervously while completely ignoring his lecture before the little bubble pops up.

He practically melts out of his seat when Harry’s message finally appears.

**Harry:** _Well. You have absolutely no reason to be, Lou. There’s no competition when it comes to who I’d rather spend my time with._

Louis may or may not swoon but he’s pretty sure he does. He also may or may not actually mouth _“Oh my God”_ in absolute fondness at the implication of Harry’s words.

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

So when Louis gets out of the shower later that evening to his phone littered with texts from Harry he absolutely does not seriously consider writing ‘H + L’ in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Well, not for very long anyway.

He was beat. Completely exhausted and stressed about the article he still needed to complete for his internship by Friday. Thank fuck his boss lets him work from home and allows him to email in his weekly articles. Because he’ll be damned if he was going to waste away the hours he could be spending with Harry stuck behind some desk.

He crawls into bed but not before sending a quick text to Harry. Can’t leave the man hanging.

**Louis:** _Going to bed now. Exhausted. Miss you. Don’t have too much fun without me._

He’s asleep before his head hits the pillow.

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

Louis comes to slowly, the ringing of his phone becomes shriller as the fog of sleep clears.

_Who the…?_

He cracks an eye open, and makes out the digital 2:41 A.M. staring back at him from his nightstand.

_With a sleep roughened groan, Louis reaches out blindly for his phone that he blearily remembers he put next to his alarm clock._

He curses himself for not turning off his ringer before passing out at the same time he answers with a huff. “Yeah.”

There’s a rustle on the other end before someone is exhaling loudly into his ear.

He holds the phone away from his ear, annoyed. “The fuck?”

“Lou?” It’s Harry. “Is that…s’that you, Lou? Did I wake you? What fucking time is it?” An obviously drunk Harry if his slurring is anything to go by.

“Harry?” Louis breathes, sitting up with barely-opened eyes; The tug of sleep still pulling on him. “Yeah. Everything ok?”

He hears a brief high pitched giggle in the background. Someone clearly not Harry.

“Harry, come on,” the female voice presses, and Harry shushes her.

“Shhhhh. Shut it,” Harry giggles, as does the girl in the background. “Sorry.” Another drunken giggle. “Lou?”

“Oh! It’s _Louis_!” the girl singsongs, clearly teasing Harry.

Harry shushes her even louder and mumbles something unintelligible before returning his attention back to his phone.

Louis’ suddenly wide awake. His belly fluttering with interest as he runs a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. As if Harry could actually see the state he’s currently in. “Um, Harry? What…What’s up? Where are you?”

The background seems to grow quieter as Harry’s voice comes through a bit clearer. “Hey, Lou. I just…sorry. I just missed your voice, you know?”

Louis’ tongue suddenly feels too heavy to form words. “I-I…yeah.”

_Wow. Shakespeare you are_ NOT, _Louis Tomlinson._

Harry laughs quietly. “Just. I know we like…texted pretty much all day but. I don’t know…”

Louis swallows audibly. “Y-Yeah. I know.”

_What? What do I know?_

“It’s kind of scary how much I want you here with me right now.”

Louis lets out a soft gasp, his mouth suddenly desert-like. “Yeah?” Louis squeaks, before clearing his throat. “Um, where are you?”

“Just got back to my hotel room. Everyone’s hanging out in Niall’s room but I just…” he sighs loudly. “I just needed to hear your voice. Missed you.” Pause. “A lot.”

Harry is practically whining now and Louis can hear the pout that is most surely on his friend’s face.

It shouldn’t be turning him on. The pouts and the whines.

But GOD, does Louis wish he was with Harry right now as well. Was there to see Harry’s full and pouty lips. Maybe taste them, too.

_Fuck._

Louis presses the heel of his hand into his suddenly growing erection.

_Always so fucking affected by this boy. This fucking_ man.

Faint memories of secret touches and playful innuendos that led to uncontrollable blushes and hastily hidden semis trickle into Louis’ consciousness before he is brought back by the deep sound of Harry’s voice.

“I’ve just…it’s like…after not hearing your voice for so long…I don’t know. You know? It’s just…I don’t want to lose it.” Harry stammers, clearing his throat before continuing. “Don’t wanna lose _you_.”

_I don’t want to lose you, either. I still love you. I’m still_ in love _with you. Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me again._

“Yeah. I…I know what you mean.” Louis melts into the receiver. Wants to slither through the phone line until he is wrapping Harry up in his arms and never letting go. “And you won’t.”

“I believe you.”

“As you should.”

“I do.”

“Well…good.” Louis sees where this is going, a hint of humor seeping into his tone now.

“Yeah. It is,” Harry says, a poorly hidden wobble of his words revealing a restrained giggle just below the surface.

“Indeed, Harold.” Louis refuses to break.

“Indeed, Lewisssss.” Harry’s pulling out the big guns.

Louis bites down on a smile as years of this game, if that’s what it really can be called, billow through his memory. Who is first to get flustered and say “alright, alright” and “enough of that”. It’s silly but… it was a thing. _Their_ thing.

Louis groans. “Alright, alright.”

Harry barks out a laugh. “Ha!”

Louis feels his face warm as his grin breaks through.

_God, how I’ve missed that sound._

They talk for well over an hour about anything and everything that Louis’ sleep-addled brain and Harry’s quite tipsy one can manage. They talk until every other sentence becomes punctuated by a yawn and one is telling the other to “Get some sleep.”

Harry hums sleepily, nearly passing out with exhaustion. “Wanna see you tomorrow, Lou. Can I?”

Through a yawn and a slow stretch into his mattress Louis replies. “That can be arranged, babe.”

Louis’ too tired to care that the term of endearment has slipped out once again. He thinks he’s at least lucky he’s lucid enough to not call Harry _baby._ Because in his dreams and fantasies where they are together and happy and _forever_ , Harry is his baby. His ‘honey’. His ‘insert whatever coupley term of endearment that one can think of here’.

His… _love._

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

After his mid-morning class, Louis is taking the train into the city to meet up with Harry and Niall. Liam plans on catching up with them after work, his gym just 10 city blocks from Harry’s hotel.

Harry answers his door with a flourish and a blinding grin. “You’re here!”

The smile is infectious and Louis is no match for the Harry Styles Effect. Butterflies sweeping through his belly, heart skipping beats every time he meets Harry’s fond gaze. He’s gone. He’s done for. This is it.

He’s practically restraining himself from jumping into Harry’s arms, slipping his fingers through his hair and giving him his all. Letting Harry take him any way he wants because all Louis wants is to give himself to this man. Every bit of him.

His own face nearly splitting from the enormity of his own grin of reply. “I’m here!” _Baby…_

_Love…_

Harry’s pulling him in by his shirt and to his chest before closing the door with his foot. “I missed you,” he says, nose nuzzling into Louis’ neck. His lips brushing soft, warm skin with each word.

Louis melts into the embrace, eyes closed shut and hands gripping onto the back of Harry’s shirt as he holds on for dear life.

_Never letting go…_

Their little bubble of contentment is somewhat burst by someone clearing their throat loudly.

Louis opens his eyes in a near daze at the sound spotting Niall standing just outside the door connecting his room to Harry’s.

“Uh, yeah. Hi. Sorry.” Niall mutters, turning a few shades of crimson Louis doesn’t have the clarity of mind to decipher at the moment. Too busy memorizing the feel of Harry’s body against his own. The warmth of his breath, the smell of his hair, the pattern of his heartbeat.

Louis quirks his lips in what he hopes is a polite smile before he watches the blond retreat back through the door from whence he came.

Harry hasn’t even flinched at the intrusion but as the adjoining door clicks shut he’s giving Louis’ body one last gentle squeeze before he’s pulling back a bit.

Louis pulls back as well, but just enough to meet Harry’s eyes. He needs to see those eyes.

They’re still _so_ close and if anyone walked in on them now they would suspect them of being lovers with the way their bodies are still pressed together, faces only inches apart. So close their eyes are nearly crossing but neither dares to retreat further.

Louis wants to kiss him. God, does he want to kiss him.

Harry’s tongue darts out to moisten his lips as if he can read Louis’ thoughts.

Louis mirrors the movement as his nerves are buzzing with want.

“Hey,” Harry whispers, green eyes searching Louis’ blue.

_They’re a sea green and moss mixed together today_ , Louis notes mindlessly. _So, so beautiful. Always so beautiful…_

“Hey.”

Harry’s fingers are tracing soothing patterns onto Louis’ back as they stand there. Staring. Gazing into each other’s souls and telling each other things without uttering a word.

Louis’ breath catches, his eyes slowly falling shut as Harry carefully leans in and brushes his lips first against the corner of Louis’ mouth. Then nuzzles the tip of his nose against where his lips just met Louis’ skin before placing another kiss to the same spot.

“One day without you is too long,” he whispers against Louis’ ear, pulling him to his chest again. This time he grips onto Louis as if his life depends on it.

_I feel the same way, baby…_

But what does it mean, really? Louis’ heart is going to break when Harry flies back to L.A. again. Should he even let himself imagine that Harry feels the same way about them becoming… _more_?

Without thought, Louis’ hands are rubbing up and down Harry’s back. His fingertips catching on the material at his friend’s waist, brushing against the soft, warm skin underneath.

He waits for Harry to maybe pull away at the touch but the man only nuzzles into Louis’ neck deeper, humming as he’s brushing his lips against Louis’ ear once again. “You smell amazing, Lou.”

An unconscious smile spreads across Louis’ face. “John Varvatos.”

“Yeah?” Harry brushes his nose against Louis’ neck, inhaling softly. The sensation of skin against skin sending a shiver through both men. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Louis’ voice is shaky now, affected by the feel of Harry’s lips grazing along the skin of his neck as he continues to inhale Louis’ scent.

Harry nods slowly, his hands beginning to rub up and down Louis’ back. Fingertips digging in at places like he wants to tear at the material to reach the skin beneath.

Louis’ breath hitches, his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

_Oh, God…_

He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it as he arches his neck to give Harry better access but his friend seems to as, without pause, Harry is latching on to the skin there with open lips. Lathing at the skin, grazing it with his teeth.

Louis lets out a soft moan, fingertips finding their way to the hem of Harry’s shirt.

_Holy…fuck…_

_Is this…is this really happening?_

He gently traces his fingertips along the exposed skin of Harry’s lower back, pinky dipping under the elastic waistband of the briefs peeking out from Harry’s jeans. Harry has yet to pause, now sucking a mark into the juncture of Louis’ neck and shoulder.

He gasps as Harry nips at his newly bruised skin, his own fingers digging in to the flesh underneath Harry’s shirt.

Harry groans, hips rolling as his hands begin to aimlessly roam Louis’ body. Pressing into flesh and kneading muscles tenderly.

“H-Harry,” Louis breathes. _This is just…I can’t fucking believe…_ “Harry?”

Harry trails his tongue under Louis’ jaw before nipping at the stubble-covered skin, eliciting a soft gasp from Louis. “S’this ok?” he barely whispers, words coming out just loud enough for someone as close to him as Louis is to hear.

Louis nods, eyes shut and eyebrows drawn in and up in focus. Focus on the heat of Harry’s tongue against his skin. The strength of his hands against Louis’ body, his own muscles feeling weakened at the touch.

His own hands are pressed into the bare skin of Harry’s back, fingertips digging in. If Louis had longer fingernails, half-moon shapes would be left littering the muscled flesh.

“Fuck, Harry. What are…what is this?” Louis wishes his mind could just shut off and go with it. With whatever is happening between them right now. But reason always seemed to win out. Clearly Harry was feeling what Louis was feeling. At least when it came to physical, sexual attraction. And he clearly missed Louis desperately. But what if that was all this was? Harry’s feelings of nostalgia mixed with sexual attraction mixed with the desperation of wanting to reconnect with him? With Louis?

What if that was all this was? While Louis has been pining over Harry for the last decade, stupidly in love with the man, Harry may have simply been wondering ‘what if?’

Harry stills, lips paused hovering over Louis’ Adam’s Apple. He pulls back, brows furrowed in question as studies Louis’ face. “Is this not…I just thought…”

Harry’s face is turning beet red, and Louis just wants to pull Harry to him and whisper “Never mind.” Push their lips together, _finally_. Because fuck reason! The confused and embarrassed look in Harry’s eyes is too much.

“I just…,” Harry shakes his head, clearing his throat as he steps out of their embrace.

Louis’ hands fall limp at his sides and he has never before wanted to punch someone so hard in the face as much as he wants to punch himself right now.

_Fucking idiot!_

“No!” Louis reaches out for Harry’s hands, grasping at his fingers and holding on for dear life. Harry’s eyebrows shoot up but the confused look remains etched across his face. “No,” Louis repeats more softly. “I…I only asked because…” He sighs, shoulders hunching over as he gives himself permission to be completely open and honest with Harry. “Because I’ve basically been in love with you from the day I met you. And I can’t just start something like this knowing that it may mean one thing to me and something different to you.”

Harry’s lips part to speak but Louis continues before he loses his nerve.

“It’s just that when I look at you I see…” Louis swallows audibly, averting his eyes when his nerves briefly get the best of him before returning his gaze to Harry. “When I look at you I see ‘forever’. Not just ‘ _tonight’,_ you know?”

Harry is left momentarily speechless at Louis’ confession; the surprise evident on his face.

Louis’ is still holding on to his hands, his thumbs soothingly running back and forth over Harry’s knuckles.

_Louis…LOVES me. Is IN LOVE with me. All this time and he still sees a forever with me. But what is it that he thinks_ I _want? A one-night stand? Is that what he thinks?_

“And what is it that you think I want, Louis?” his voice is shaky but sure. He needs to know.

Louis averts his eyes once again, eyes searching blindly for the right words. “I-I don’t know.” His meets Harry’s eyes once again. “All I know is I’ve had ten years dealing with these feelings for you. TEN YEARS! But…,” his voice softens. “But you’ve only just acknowledged that you had a crush on me _years_ ago. Who’s to say those feelings still exist?”

Harry huffs a laugh. “I think _I_ do, don’t you think? Don’t I have a say on whether or not I have feelings for you? That I…,” he slides his hands up Louis’ arms, giving a gentle squeeze to his shoulders as he takes a step closer. “that I _want_ you?”

Harry’s steady gaze bore into Louis in expectation as his friend looked at him with an unreadable expression. There was a rustle at the door Niall had disappeared behind but neither men looked away.

“Well?” Harry cups Louis’ jaw with both of his hands, his thumb delicately grazing Louis’ bottom lip as the man’s eyelids slowly close from the touch.

“I…” Louis breathes, his heartrate picking up with each stroke of Harry’s thumb. He slowly opens his eyes, watching through hooded lids as Harry’s tongue darts out to moisten his lips. He _wants_ Harry. God, does he want him. So badly his skin is tingling in anticipation. And maybe he should just indulge his carnal desires. He _has_ been without another man’s touch for over six months. And who better to break the dry spell than with a man he’s been wanting to touch and be touched by for over ten years? But…what about his heart? “I think we should just work on us being friends again.”

_God, why does reason always win out? Huh?_

Harry visibly deflates. “Oh.” His hands fall slowly to his sides and he takes a small step back. He worries his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed as his gaze drops to the floor unable to meet Louis’ eyes. “Yeah. Um…yeah. Ok.”

“It’s just…like I said, Harry. I have to look out for my heart and we’ve just reconnected as _friends_. You’re going back to L.A. and I’ll still be here in New York. Things aren’t so cut and dry, you know.”

Harry nods with a taut jerk of his head as he turns to walk further into the room.

Louis watches as Harry grabs his phone off of the desk near the window, stuffing it into his back pocket. He knows more needs to be said but nothing but more of the same is flooding his brain right now.

“We should get going if we want to meet up with Liam,” Harry says, woodenly. He knocks on the door adjoining his and Niall’s room and Niall opens the door like he had been waiting for it.

“Ready to go, boys?” His eyes dart questioningly between the two men, trying to gauge the situation and whether or not he would need to take on more of his role of Harry’s friend as opposed to his assistant tonight. By the look on his friend’s face he’d say that the answer is pretty clear.

Niall throws an arm around Harry’s shoulders and gives his arm a reassuring squeeze and in return he is met with a half-hearted smile.

Louis fidgets, clearly a bit uncomfortable by what just happened and the not knowing of what is going to happen next between the two of them. All he does know is that he needs to get out of this room and clear his head. He can still feel Harry’s lips on his skin, his fingers on his body. The heat of his closeness still warming Louis’ skin, fogging up his mind.

He needs Liam.

 

 

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“Holy shit! That is NOT Liam James Payne! Get the fuck out of here!” Harry exclaims as his old friend enters the restaurant. Luckily, Niall was able to secure them a private booth so they could avoid intrusive fans and paparazzi during their early dinner. Liam has just been escorted to the booth by one of the waiters, and he’s still dressed for the gym. His muscles on display in a skin tight white tank top and black Adidas running shorts.

A blush warms Liam’s cheeks as Harry’s eyes rake over his body appreciatively. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles dismissively.

Harry barks out a laugh, reaching out to pull Liam in for a hug. “You look great, Li!”

To be fair, Liam _was_ a bit on the lean side throughout high school. He was introduced to mixed martial arts by a friend he made in his first semester of college, falling in love with it almost immediately. Through it, he became one of the top MMA fighters in New York until he tore a ligament in his knee last year and had to bow out of competitions. He had opened up his gym about a year before his injury, putting his business degree to good use while continuing to immerse himself to whatever degree possible in the MMA world. Hence, Liam still being built like a God.

“You too, rock star,” Liam smiles, sliding into the booth next to Louis. Introductions are made between Niall and Liam and the waiter quickly returns to take their drink orders.

Liam knows something is up the minute he lays eyes on Louis. He can see the gears and cogs turning in the man’s head, thoughts running rampant about who knows what. Louis’ got something on his mind that’s eating him up inside and Liam’s pretty sure he knows at least _who_ it involves.

It’s not until they’re on their way back home on the train that Liam gets it out of him.

“We almost kissed, Li.” Louis had of course filled Liam in on everything that had gone on between the two of them up until that point. The confessions of crushes, Harry being bi (although Liam knew about that already through the media- _could’ve told me, Liam!-you didn’t want to hear anything about him, Lou!_ _How could I?_ -of the time they’ve spent together over the past few days and how things were beginning to feel like nothing ever changed between the two of them.

Liam pokes his finger against the juncture of Louis’ neck and shoulder. Louis flinches, swatting his hand away.

“You _almost_ kiss but he gave you a hickey?” he looks at Louis, incredulously.

Louis’ lips purse into a thin line as he lowers his head. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “I know. I shouldn’t have let that happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because…because it was a mistake, Liam. I’m going to get my heart broken again. I miss him so fucking much and I want him back in my life. I do. But I couldn’t bare him leaving again after finally having him the way I’ve always wanted him.”

Liam nods. “Ok. But what does _he_ want?”

Louis raises his head and sighs, absently picking at a tear in the cushion of the seat in front of him. “It’s just a crush, Liam. To him it’s just…it’s just a crush. I know it is.”

“Is that what he said?”

Louis shakes his head minutely. “Well, no. But I told him I’ve been in love with him since the day I met him and I’m pretty sure that was not what he was expecting. I mean, he’s a fucking rock star, Liam. He could have anyone he wants. He shouldn’t be starting something with someone who wants to settle down. I told him we should just work on rebuilding our friendship.”

Liam visibly cringes. “Yikes.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“And how did he take that?”

“Not too well, actually. But not too bad, either.”

After the three men had left the hotel for the restaurant, conversation had flowed easily between all of them. Yeah, Harry wasn’t as tactile as usual with Louis while they bantered but he wasn’t ignoring him and that was a good sign. Wasn’t it?

And when he and Harry had said their goodbyes tonight, Harry had hugged him and whispered in his ear “We’re good, Lou. I’ll text you tomorrow, ok?”

They left things on a good note. They did.

“And how are you taking it?”

Louis exhales loudly, shoulders hunching as he shakes his head slowly. “I don’t fucking know, Lima. I really don’t.”

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

Wednesday passes into Thursday and Louis has been met with silence on Harry’s end. He’d like to say he’s surprised but he isn’t. What he is surprised by is the hollowness he feels as the days wear on without so much as a text from his friend. How incomplete his days feel without hearing the sound of Harry’s voice or the flash of his name across the screen of his phone. He misses him even though he is so close and that. That seems to break his heart more than Harry being across the country and out of his reach did for the past five years.

He runs into Gemma waiting on line at the 7-11 around the corner from his house late Thursday afternoon. Her eyes are on him as soon as he walks through the door, almost like she was expecting him.

“Louis.” She nods with a tight-lipped smile. “I think I’ve seen you more over the past two weeks than I have over the past two _years_.”

It’s friendly. It’s easy. But Louis knows how close Harry and his sister are. He knows that they practically talk or text every single day. So the easiest conclusion to her slight standoffishness is that she has spoken to her brother about what happened between them the day before yesterday.

“Gem!” Louis tries to play it off like he’s got nothing to hide as he presses his cheek to hers with a friendly air kiss which she stiffly returns. “I know! It’s nice, though. Isn’t it?”

And oh, he should really think before he speaks sometimes. He really should.

“Mmhm,” she answers, adjusting the gallon of milk and bag of pretzels she’s carrying in her arms. “Ready for this weekend?”

The reunion. How could he forget? How could he not be ready?

“Yeah,” he drawls. “Yup, yup.”

Now Gemma’s eyes are boring into him, squinting as if she’s trying to read his mind. See if she could get his side of the story of what went on between him and her brother yesterday. “Good,” she finally says, eyes still darting over Louis’ features searchingly.

There’s an awkward silence as Louis rocks back and forth on his heels, his thin lips pressed tightly between his teeth.

Then…

“I have something for you. In my car.” She’s next to pay so she steps up and lays out her groceries on the counter before turning back to Louis. “Just don’t leave before I come back with it.”

_Um…ok._

“Um…ok. Yeah.” Louis is indeed confused by the importance of whatever it is Gemma has for him in her car. He’s intrigued, to say the least.

He gets what he came to get and just as he steps outside the doors of the 7-11 a Rolling Stone Magazine is being shoved into his chest.

“Here you go.”

Louis can’t quite read Gemma’s expression as she presents him with the magazine but he thinks he can detect a bit of…pleading? Hope?

Louis takes it from her with as Gemma seems to read the confusion in his expression.

She sighs, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “Just read the ‘Up and Coming’ section, ok?” She then playfully nudges him with her elbow before she turns and walks back to her car, Louis looking after her still a little dazed.

_Well…ok, then._

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

Louis means to read the magazine article as soon as he gets home. He really did. It’s just…he left it in his car by accident, on the passenger seat. It had been hiding under his bag of groceries and his books from his last class and he just…forgot.

And he _really_ had to go to the bathroom. And then Liam texted him about going out tomorrow night to some club that Louis’ infamous blind date, Nico, got them on the VIP list for. Then he and Zayn Skyped for nearly an hour and well. The evening simply got away from him.

It is as he’s turning in for the night that the hollowness returns, laying bare every emotion that has been pushed aside throughout the day in order to have some semblance of a normalcy. It’s been two days. TWO fucking days without hearing that familiar, deep voice and it’s becoming glaringly obvious that one day more and Louis will go mad. He grabs his phone off of his nightstand, ready to send a text to Harry. What it will say? Louis thinks honesty is as good as anything.

**Louis:** _I miss you._

He doesn’t actually expect a reply. Part of him wants to shut his phone off just to avoid the disappointment of realizing Harry really doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

But the other part of him believes in the power of their renewed friendship. Knows that Harry is a believer in second chances and not holding grudges and would never intentionally-

_Buzzzzzzz Buzzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzz Buzzzzzz._

His phone nearly vibrates off of his nightstand before he can reach it, the light from the screen illuminating his hopeful eyes.

It’s Harry _._

**Harry:** _I’m a dick. I miss you, too._

Louis smiles to himself, eyes crinkling almost completely shut as he feels a pesky lump begin to form in his throat.

And then…

**Harry:** _Still friends? Right?_

Louis eyes the word ‘friends’ warily. The question feeling like a stab to his heart. It _is_ what he said he wanted. Isn’t it?

**Louis:** _Of course, H. No matter what. Ok?_

**Harry:** _Ok. Friend._

Louis can _so_ do ‘just friends’

 

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

The bass is _insane_ inside the club Liam’s dragged him to. Louis can actually feel his tongue vibrating inside of his mouth it’s that intense. He gives himself a mental pat on the back for eating a light dinner before he met up with Liam earlier. Less chance of his Chicken Caesar salad vibrating its way up and out of his gut than the burrito bowl from Chipotle he had been contemplating having.

It’s a pretty large-size venue. About the size of an auditorium, with the dance floor being central to the space. There’s a large, raised stage along the back wall where a DJ stands behind a pretty elaborate set-up. The smell of dry ice from the fog machines peppering the club combined with the pulsating beat of the various colored lasers on to the dance floor is dizzying to say the least.

“Amstel Light?” Liam yells, directly into Louis’ ear when they reach the bar. Louis can already feel the way Liam is nodding to the beat blasting through the speakers. “Or you want to start off with shots?”

There’s a flash of familiar long dark hair off in Louis’ periphery and he quickly whips his head in the direction it came from. His adrenaline spikes as he scans the crowd for where the owner of said familiar hair disappeared only to have it come crashing down when he realizes how stupid he’s being.

_Of course it’s not Harry, you ass. Just…calm yourself. Maybe a shot is the way to go._

Louis turns to Liam, the shadows within the club dancing over his friend’s face. “Let’s get some shots in us, eh Lima!”

Liam smiles, patting him on the back and giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze before he leans over the bar trying to get the bartender’s attention.

He watches Liam’s jaw drop as the bartender makes her way in their direction. She _is_ stunning.

“Hey. What can I getcha?” she asks with a friendly smile. Her long, dark brown hair is piled on to her head in a messy bun and, despite the darkness within the club, Louis can make out the striking bright green of her eyes. Top it all off with the glossy fullness of her lips and Louis thinks he may be meeting the female version of Harry himself.

He ignores the ache in his chest at the thought of Harry and how much he wishes he were currently there. How they had left things on a positive note the night before but had made no further plans to meet up before the reunion tomorrow.

It left Louis feeling a little lost, to be honest. They were friends again and that’s all that should matter now, but…

He shakes the thought away because first things first.

Louis side-eyes a frozen Liam, quickly hip-checking him out of his trance.

“Wh-Whiskey. Shots. Two,” Liam stutters out, mindlessly pulling at the collar of his basically skin tight pinstriped black button down. Louis watches as his friend goes from confident and fit to shy and a puddle of mush within seconds. “Please.”

Louis stifles a laugh when Liam pulls out the big guns, flashing her his sweet smile complete with crinkles around his sparkling puppy dog eyes.

Liam doesn’t even know this girl’s name and he’s already done for.

A slow smile spreads across the bartender’s pouty lips and Louis can tell she knows Liam’s interested in her for more than taking his order. “Any particular kind? Jack? Jim Beam?”

“Jack. Jack’s good.” Liam is practically melting just from this girl’s eyes on him alone. “I’m Liam, by the way. And you are?”

She side-eyes him with a playful smirk. Her bright green eyes giving him a quick once over. “Sophia.”

“Sophia…” Liam breathes. Repeating the name like it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. Ever tasted.

“Yeah,” she says as she pours them their shots on the bar. “Liam.” She slides them their shots and pours one of her own.

As the three of them clink glasses in an informal toast and down their shots, Liam and Sophia lock eyes.

Louis groans inwardly. _Guess you’re third-wheeling tonight, Tommo._

Two more shots later and with a beer in hand Louis leaves Liam at the bar to continue trying to woo Sophia, and heads off to the bathroom. He’s a little more than tipsy but he’s steady on his feet as he passes through the men’s room door. The lights are a little blinding but his eyes adjust quickly as he squints his way to one of the urinals lining the walls.

He puts his beer on top of the urinal, does his business and is about to zip up when he senses someone standing a little too closely behind him to not be creepy. He tenses as he feels the hot breath on his ear and is ready to shove an elbow in the guy’s gut when it happens.

“You come here often?” the stranger whispers, voice sinfully deep as his lips graze the shell of Louis’ ear.

A shiver runs through Louis at the sound because he _knows_ that voice. Has had dreams where that voice featured greatly, promising to bring him immense pleasure by any means necessary and leaving him panting in want as he slips into wakefulness.

Yeah. He definitely knows that voice.

“Harry?” Louis turns, his hand still on his zipper.

Their eyes meet and Louis suddenly feels whole again. There’s Harry. Tall, dark, insanely adorable yet equally insanely sexy. Green eyes smoldering, lips bitten red and raw. A flush creeping across his cheeks that speaks of how much he’s had to drink tonight yet also of how happy he is to see Louis.

Harry holds his arms out at his sides dramatically, beckoning Louis towards him with his hands. “C’mon. Bring it in. Give your old friend Harry a hug, will ya?”

Louis realizes that Harry may be just a bit more intoxicated than he is but that doesn’t stop him from melting into his friend’s embrace, face buried against his chest. “Missed you.”

Harry holds him close. Tightly.

Louis feels the slow press of Harry’s lips against the top of his head. The murmured “Me too” barely audible through his artfully coiffed hair. He nearly freezes as Harry begins tenderly running his hands up and down Louis’ back as he hums in contentment, his cheek now resting atop Louis’ head.

But then Louis is suddenly reminded that _ah, yes. Harry has always been an overly affectionate and tactile drunk._

Louis struggles with simply giving in to the sweet caresses his friend is offering or living in the reality that they are two grown-ass men standing in the middle of a men’s bathroom in a nightclub, swaying back and forth in an obviously _non-bro like_ embrace.

Louis clears his throat loudly, gently pulling back enough to meet Harry’s eyes with a smile. “So…what are you doing here? Didn’t know you had plans to come here tonight.”

_Idiot! Like he has to tell you everything! That’s a little fucking presumptuous._

Harry sighs, releasing Louis and running his fingers through his loose waves. “Didn’t know until a couple of hours ago, actually.” He ambles over to one of the urinals, unzips, and proceeds to do his business. “Barbara is leaving tomorrow for Milan and Niall wanted me to double with her and her friend from home so he could have some more time with her. You know,” he peers over his shoulder at Louis behind him, “keep her busy.” He waggles his eyebrows and Louis’ heart plummets into his freshly polished boots.

_What the fuck?!?!?!_

“Oh.” Suddenly Louis wants nothing more than to jump onto Harry’s back, bury his face into the man’s neck and suck bruises into his skin that scream _Taken!_

But…he doesn’t have the right. Because it’s not true. Because they’re just…friends.

So he bites his tongue instead and ignores the ache in his chest that’s had a rather impressive comeback.

Harry zips up and makes his way over to the sink, his hips swaying obscenely in his leather-look jeans that are practically painted on.

Louis can do nothing but swallow audibly before he begins salivating embarrassingly at the sight.

_Harry is obscenely sexy. Louis has his excuse._

Louis grabs his beer and then joins Harry at the sink to rinse his hands, his eyes firmly on Harry in the mirror on the wall.

“So.” Harry shakes his hands of the wetness, shutting off the faucet with his elbow. He grabs he and Louis a paper towel out of the dispenser on the wall. “Who are _you_ here with?”

Louis takes the proffered paper towel, quickly drying his hands and tossing it in the wastebasket next to the sink. “Liam.”

“Where are you guys? By the bar?” Harry tosses his wet paper towel and throws an arm around Louis’ shoulders, leaning heavily on his friend as he guides him towards the bathroom door.

_Damn, he smells so fucking good_ , Louis thinks, barely hiding the fact that he is obviously sniffing Harry’s neck as they head back out into the club.

The thumping base and sudden plunge back into the pulsating darkness shakes Louis from his thoughts. “Yeah,” he shouts, his nose brushing past the long strands of hair covering his friend’s ear. “He’s hardcore flirting with the bartender.” Louis may take another deep whiff of Harry’s intoxicating scent before he pulls back, taking a sip of his warming bottle of beer.

“Oh yeah?”

Harry’s arm is still firmly around Louis’ shoulders and, because of the volume within the club, the necessity to speak loudly into each other’s ears is there.

But with each brush of Harry’s lips against the shell of his ear and each inhale of Harry’s fantastic scent, Louis just can’t seem to care.

Louis nods, sipping his beer distractedly. His eyes roaming, searching for a blond mop of hair. “And Niall? Where is he?”

Harry shrugs. “Dancing I think. Barbara practically dragged him there as soon as we got here. Lacey went to the Ladies room. Told her I’d meet her at the bar.”

_Lacey?_ Louis feels the bile rise up in the back of his throat so he downs the rest of his beer to push it back down.

Louis realizes then that Harry is steering them over towards the bar where a gorgeous, leggy blonde is turned in their direction. Her hungry eyes raking over Harry as the two men get closer.

Louis thinks he might throw up. And not because of the alcohol. He leans into Harry for all he’s worth, nose grazing along the man’s cheek as he presses his lips against the shell of Harry’s ear. “S’that her? That Lacey?”

Louis feels Harry shudder as his breath ghosts along the side of Harry’s cheek. Then Harry is nodding, averting his eyes as he drops his arm from around Louis’ shoulder. “Yup.”

Louis feels Lacey’s eyes still on them and, once again, he is overcome with the urge to latch on to Harry with everything that he’s got. Show her that she can’t have him because…because…

“Pretty hot, isn’t she?”

Louis practically swallows his tongue.

_What in the fuck was Harry playing at?_

“Um…yeah.” He nods with a taut jerk of his head. His face heating up as another wave of jealousy washes over him. If Harry is _trying_ to make him jealous, he doesn’t seem to have to work very hard at it.

He clears his throat, breaking away from Harry’s side and heading towards the other end of the bar. Away from Harry’s ‘date’. “M’gonna get another beer.”

“Hey!” Harry calls out before he can even get very far.

Louis turns back and catches a spark of some indefinable emotion in those green eyes, still somehow shining despite the darkness surrounding them.

“I’ll meet up with you and Liam in a few. Ok?” There’s a pleading look in Harry’s eyes that Louis can’t deny. And despite Harry’s obvious attempts to get a rise out of Louis he can’t help but remind himself that if he wants to maintain a friendship with this man then he can’t let these things get to him.

A beat passes before Louis nods with a half-hearted smile. “Yeah. Sure.”

Louis steels himself away before he has to be witness to any interaction between Harry and his date. He can admit it. He’s jealous. But he made a decision to save himself from further heartbreak knowing full well that part of being a friend to Harry would mean he would probably be around when he started relationships or hooked up with other people. That’s just part of being a friend to someone. To anyone.

But Harry’s not just anyone. And Louis is well aware of that.

He spots Liam, still leaning over the bar deep in conversation with Sophia. They’re fully engaged now and it’s clear that whatever interest Liam has in Sophia, the feelings are quite mutual.

“You two still at it?” Louis sidles up next to Liam, patting him on the back.

“Hey! Where’ve you been? What took you so long?” Liam ignores Louis’ question as a blushing Sophia is dragged back into work by a few eager drinkers shouting for her attention.

“Um, actually. Harry’s here.”

“Really?” Liam’s eyebrows shoot up, his eyes darting around the club searchingly. “Where?”

“I met him in the bathroom actually. He’s…um…on a date.” Louis raises a hand to get another passing bartender’s attention, giving his order while feeling Liam’s sympathetic eyes on him the whole time. “They’re at the other end of the bar.”

Louis is looking anywhere but at Liam because knowing Liam and his sad puppy dog eyes, the look of pure sympathy he is surely sporting will bring Louis to tears. And that’s something Louis definitely does _not_ need right now. So he feigns nonchalance instead.

“She’s gorgeous, of course. Wouldn’t expect anything less for a rock star, you know?” The bartender delivers his beer to him and he takes it with a nod, slipping a $10 across the bar.

“She?”

Louis nods, taking a swig of his beer. “Yup. ‘Lacey’. One of Niall’s girlfriend’s friends. It’s like a fucking double date or something like that. Like Harry _needs_ to be set up. He can have anyone he wants. They’ve got to be falling at his feet. Throwing themselves at him. Why wouldn’t they be? I mean…” he turns to Liam, his friend’s lips quirking as he looks at him with incredulity. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Liam rolls his eyes, shaking his head dismissively. “Nothing. Nothing. Just…are you sure this is what you want, Lou?”

“What?”

“Well, it clearly bothers you. Seeing him with someone else.”

“No,” Louis interjects, with a half-hearted shake of his head. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes. Yes, it does. Clearly. This is me you’re talking to, Tommo,” Liam quips, leaning into his friend’s shoulder.

Louis gives a defeated sigh. “Well, what the fuck can I do about it? Nothing. I just have to get used to it if I want to still have him in my life.” He takes a sip from his beer bottle, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand before he places it back on the bar. “As his fucking _friend_.”

Liam groans. “Louis, that was your choice and you know that. Not saying you don’t have good reason, mind you,” he holds up a hand placatingly when Louis opens his mouth to speak. “Just…if you want to continue with this whole thing then you need to find someone else to occupy that part of your life.”

Louis’ just a bit confused. “What are you talking about. What ‘part’ of my life?”

Liam takes a sip from his bottle, eyebrows quirked as he nods out towards the dance floor. “You need a man, Lou.”

Louis directs his gaze on to the sea of bodies moving in rhythm to music in the center of club. Men and women gyrating and grinding onto one another, skin glistening as the pulsating light show overhead dances across their exposed flesh. He sees men dancing with women, men dancing with men, women dancing with women. There’s nothing stopping him from getting out there and at least finding someone to possibly take his mind off of the thought of Harry with someone else tonight. Especially when it’s happening within the same space he is currently occupying. He definitely needs a distraction.

“Yeah,” Louis downs his beer then places the empty bottle back on the bar before turning back towards the dance floor. “Sounds like a plan.”

 

Three songs in and Louis is feeling the effects of the whiskey and beer evident in the looseness of his muscles and his noticeably lowered inhibitions. Now, Louis’ not a shy person by any means. But completely sober you’d have to drag him kicking and screaming onto a dance floor. It’s just…not his thing.

Sophia just got off of her shift a few minutes ago and is now occupying all of Liam’s attention while Louis dances with the occasional girl. He’s been trying not to scan the crowd to look for the familiar face he knows is there somewhere because he knows what he’s likely to find. If Harry _is_ on the dance floor he most likely has Lacey attached to him. Touching him in places that Louis’ only dreamed about touching with such intimacy. Harry grinding on her tight little body, probably getting himself worked up into a frenzy before he pulls her off of the dance floor and back to his hotel without a second thought about little old Louis. His buddy. His pal. His _friend_.

Except two things happen when the beat changes into the next song and the girl he was dancing with excuses herself as her friend drags her off. First, he feels a strong set of hands settle on his hips and the overwhelming scent of men’s cologne envelopes his senses.

“You never called, Lewis,” the person behind him whispers, their lips grazing against the shell of Louis’ ear. Louis’ back is gently pulled back against a hard, broad chest by a pair of overly-tanned, muscled arms as he finally puts the scent to the voice. _Nico._

Louis rolls his eyes. Despite the copious amounts of alcohol he has consumed tonight Louis is not about to indulge his former blind date with a dance.

He turns around with a tight-lipped smile, all ready to let Nico down easy once again. But what he sees reminds him how it’s been OVER SIX FUCKING MONTHS since he’s gotten laid. Yes. He will admit. Nico is hot. Exceptionally so. And in a setting where they would be forced to carry on an intelligent conversation Louis would be backing away quite quickly as he had done on their date.

But now. When all they have is the beat of the music and Nico’s broad, tanned chest between them well…

_Might as well…_

So Louis gives an internal shrug as he leans closer into Nico and says, “Just fucking dance with me, alright?”

He pulls back enough to see the glint of desire in Nico’s blue-green eyes and thinks _Yeah. Exactly. That’s all this is._

So Louis slides his hands delicately up Nico’s chest, hands clasping together behind the man’s neck. He slots his knee in between Nico’s and he feels his cock throb in interest as their hips move in tandem to the beat.

A thought flashes into his mind of whether or not Harry is watching him right now. If he’s jealous. If he wants to jump on him and claim him as his own the same way Louis had wanted to do with Harry’s date.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Nico says, bringing him out of his thoughts.

He feels Nico’s hands slowly, seductively sliding up and down his sides. Feels him pull their hips even harder together, grinding as the beat drops. Feels Nico’s hot breath on the side of his neck and the roughness of his teeth grazing along Louis’ skin there.

Louis’ eyes fall closed at the feeling, his neck stretching in an invitation for _more_. The same way it had when he had Harry’s lips on him. On his neck. On his skin. Sucking and nipping and…

His eyes slowly drift back open, his fingers raking through Nico’s close-cropped brown hair.

_It’s just for tonight_ , he reminds himself. _Just tonight._

And then he sees him. Leaning with his back against the rail surrounding the expanse of the dance floor. His date leaning her forearm onto his shoulder and whispering in his ear.

_Harry._

Watching him. And Nico. Watching them grinding on each other, Nico’s lips on Louis’ skin. His hands digging into Louis’ flesh, rubbing. Touching. _Feeling_.

Their eyes meet and hold steady, a deep furrow forming in between Harry’s brows. His green eyes narrow as his jaw clenches in clear frustration. His fingers flex around the near empty glass in his hand, just itching to reach out and pull Louis away from the handsy fucking muscle head.

“So…you want to get out of here?” Lacey whispers in his ear, her perfume sweet and strong. Her breath minty yet tinged with the clear scent of alcohol. Her voice slow, seductive and with a very clear message.

But Harry can’t budge. Can’t tear his eyes away from Louis. Mesmerized by the way Louis moves his hips, his ass looking fucking _magnificent_ in his tight jeans; his curves accentuated by the tightness of his gray t-shirt. He wants to touch. To bite. To suck. To lick every inch of him. _Needs_ to…

“Well?” She nips at his ear but Harry reflexively pulls away. Lacey’s brown eyes go wide in quiet shock at Harry’s reaction and she follows his mesmerized gaze. She quirks an eyebrow when she spots what has her date in a trance. What has him immune to her usually irresistible advances.

“Are you fucking serious?” She huffs.

Louis’ eyes are boring into Harry’s. Almost taunting him.

_See…_

_This is what you can’t have._

_What I won’t give you._

But Louis’ eyes are also seemingly _daring_ him, as well.

_You want it?_

_Come and get it…_

And it’s as if the fucking universe is daring Harry as well as the next song comes on. A remix of Selena Gomez’ Come & Get It has Harry moving his feet across the dance floor as his date disappears in his periphery.

Louis’ eyes widen as he watches Harry cross the dance floor towards he and Nico, eyes ablaze with determination. A shot of electricity pulses through him and his cock begins to fatten up at the thought of what is possibly about to happen.

The crowd seems to part as Harry struts over to them, his long, lean legs painted into a pair of black pants. His chest glistening with sweat peeking out of a barely buttoned black shirt. His hair falling in waves and barely brushing his shoulders.

Harry looks absolutely fucking delicious and Louis’ mouth is seriously watering.

Nico seems to take it that Louis’ sudden… _ahem_ …peak in interest is due to him as he practically growls into Louis’ ear, sliding his hands down over Louis’ ass grabbing and pulling their hips even closer.

Suddenly, Louis is not quite in the mood to have another man’s hands on him. At least a man who isn’t Harry Edward Styles.

“All right. Easy boy.” Louis pulls back from Nico, his hand placed firmly on his chest to keep him at bay.

Nico gives him a confused look before he is grabbing Louis’ hips and pulling him closer once again.

“Hey!” Suddenly, Harry is there. “I think he just decided he wants to sit this one out.”

“And who the fuck are you?” Nico gives Harry a once over, clearly ready for a fight.

“I’m his friend, that’s who I fucking am. So back off!”

Louis decides to intervene when the two men step towards each other, nearly chest to chest and nose to nose.

Then a light seems to go off in Nico’s eyes, his jaw dropping in awe as he steps back. “Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!”

Both Harry and Louis’ brow furrow in question to Nico’s sudden change in demeanor.

“You’re Harry Fucking Styles!” Nico exclaims, running a hand through his hair. “You’re…you’re like famous and shit!”

Harry doesn’t fall for flattery doled out by assholes trying to grope and grind on his Louis.

A little voice jumps into his head to remind him that Louis’ not really _his_ to begin with but Harry quickly sends that thought packing with a shake of his head. “Yeah. I’m Harry Fucking Styles and I’m _his_ best friend. And like I said. I think he wants to sit this dance out.”

Louis is just staring. Watching as Harry defends his honor like a white knight in skin tight black armor. He may or may not internally swoon.

Nico seems to not hear Harry because he turns to Louis and says with a smile “Baby, you never told me you knew Harry Styles.”

_Baby?_

Louis rolls his eyes as Harry takes a step closer to Nico. “Boys, boys, boys. Enough.” He steps in between them, his back to Nico and his front pressed so tightly to Harry. He turns his head and says to Nico “And I’m not your baby” before turning back to Harry and gazing up seductively at him through his lashes, a slow smirk spreading across his lips. He runs his hands up Harry’s chest, slowly. Watching as Harry’s lips part and his brow quirks in heated interest.

Louis bites his lip as Harry’s arms come to encircle his waist and pull him towards Harry’s practically bare chest.

He hears Nico huff “Whatever” before all he can focus on is Harry’s eyes boring into his soul and Harry’s hands burning into his skin and setting every part of him on fire.

Harry leans down, lips brushing against the shell of Louis’ ear. “Is this ok?” His hands tighten along Louis’ hips, fingers digging in to the curves just above Louis’ ass.

Louis’ eyes fall shut at the touch, at the feel of Harry’s breath against his ear. He nods, his cheek brushing against his friend’s.

The song switches up to a reggae remix and Harry’s thigh slips in between Louis’, the two men’s hips gyrating in sync. Harry’s hands roam Louis’ back and sides aimlessly. Just needing to touch. To feel. To _claim_ …

Louis’ dug his hands into Harry’s hair, giving a gentle tug just because he needed to. To let Harry know that he could feel it too. The passion. The want. The fucking _need…_

Harry groans as he buries his head between Louis’ neck and shoulder, nipping at the sweat-slicked skin, sucking and laving at whatever flesh he could find.

Their grinding becomes obscene as Harry’s fingers dip below the waistband of Louis’ jeans, pressing their growing erections together, rutting in rhythm to Shaggy’s _Oh, Carolina_.

Louis’ gasping every time he feels Harry’s hardness against his own and he knows. He _knows_ that this is going too far. Farther than he had told Harry he was willing to go with him. That they needed to rebuild their friendship before anything else. If there would be anything else. But right now. With alcohol and adrenaline and arousal running rampant through his system Louis cannot give less of a fuck.

He tugs on Harry’s hair, pulling back so they are face to face. He barely notices Liam dancing with Sophia somewhere over Harry’s shoulder, thumb held up in approval and a sly smirk on his face.

_Yeah, yeah._

_Ok._

_Harry…need to get my fucking mouth on him. NOW._

He doesn’t realize he throws a quick wink Liam’s way as his nose is grazing along Harry’s cheek and then their open mouths are melding together, lips moist and ready. Their tongues meet and Louis already knows he’s addicted to the taste of this man. Knows he’ll never get enough.

_For tonight._

_It’s just for tonight…_

Despite his intoxication, Louis has the mind to know that what he wants to do to Harry and what he wants Harry to do to him should not be done in the middle of a dance floor for all to see. Especially with Harry being so recognizable.

Harry pulls back a bit, their lips parting with a smack. His eyes piercing Louis’ with clear intent. “Take me home.”

Louis nods, grabbing Harry’s hand he pulls him towards Liam who’s grinding on the very lovely Sophia with a wicked grin directed at an approaching Louis. Like Liam is well aware what Louis is about to say. About to do.

“We’re gonna get outta here, Li. You ready or you wanna stay?” Louis is itching to get out into the cool night air and devour every inch of the man whose fingers are currently interlaced with his own.

“Niall is here somewhere,” Harry pipes in, voice hopeful that them leaving is ok with Liam. That it’s not a dickhead move seeing as Liam is quite obviously having an amazing time.

Liam smirks, bringing Louis in with a pat on his friend’s shoulder. He says, “Get the fuck outta here. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

On their way off of the dance floor, Harry spots Niall and tells him their plans to call a cab and head back out to Long Island. To Louis’.

Niall has pretty much the same reaction as Liam did except he throws in a “Use protection” muttered into Harry’s ear when they’re saying their goodbyes. Barbara is a little pissed to say the least and Harry apologizes with his eyes to both her and Lacey who is currently dancing happily with a fellow blond. Not too bothered at all, it seems.

Once outside, it’s like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on them. Their hands are still grasped tightly between them but the urgency has dissipated. The moment’s not quite gone but they’ve sobered up a bit by now. After stopping for goodbye’s and apologies for skipping out early.

But, still. Louis looks at Harry. Harry looks at Louis. And they know this is right where they want to be.

At least…for now. For tonight…

 

 

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"Shhhhhhhh." Louis presses his pointer finger firmly against his lips. "Shhhhhh-hahahhaha!" He busts out laughing as Harry trips over the threshold to Louis' apartment.

They’d kept their hands to themselves the entire cab ride back to Louis’ apartment. Suddenly both nervous about what was possibly about to go down between them. So they fell into amiable silence. Into their old roles as friends. Best friends. Best friends who were still holding each other’s hand.

"I thought you lived alone?" Harry stops short right inside the door, looking around in question. He tiptoes dramatically into the living room, Louis gradually flipping on the lights as he makes his way further into his modest two-bedroom apartment. He was lucky enough to get the first floor apartment in a newly built two-family home. The rent is a bit high but his upstairs neighbors, a newly married couple in their early 30s, are great. He knows he lucked out that they aren't sticklers for noise control and are usually out at all hours themselves.

"You want something to drink?"

Harry snorts. "Liquor before beer you're in the clear. Yeah! I'll have a beer if you have." He settles himself in Louis' living room, flopping down onto the overstuffed couch flanked by two mirrored end tables. He toes his boots off before stretching his legs out on the couch, laying his head on the comfy armrest with a sigh. He hears the slap of Louis' bare feet on the kitchen floor, remembering with a smile that his friend always did have an affinity for going sockless. His eyes drift shut at the thought, smile still quirking his lips.

Louis returns to the couch, lifting Harry’s legs and repositioning them across his own lap and hands his friend his beer.

Harry looks at him with half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Louis returns the smile, blushing maybe just a bit at the way Harry is looking at him. Studying him. _Relearning_ him. _Memorizing_ him.

Harry goes to take a swig out of his beer, eyes still glued to Louis, when he misses his mouth completely and dribbles the drink down his chin.

Louis chuckles as Harry swipes at his chin with the back of his hand.

“I think I may still be a teensy bit drunk,” Harry laughs and it echoes throughout the room.

Louis’ is drawn into the moment by his friend’s infectious laughter.

Harry.

Always smiling.

Always laughing.

Louis’ brought back to days spent lazing about in his yard, Harry attempting to toss bits of popcorn into Louis’ mouth. Bursting into fits of giggles every time he would miss and it would bounce off of Louis' nose or get stuck in his hair. He's reminded of the night they danced their asses off at Lollapalooza on Randall's Island, Harry laughing uncontrollably as he tried to drag Louis into the mosh pit kicking and screaming. He is reminded of every smile, every chuckle, every giggle, that has ever come from the lips of the man sitting next to him. Because those were some of the happiest sounds from the best days of his life.

He wants to cry with how happy he is at this very moment. He doesn't. Instead he just joins Harry in his laughter and blames the tears falling from his eyes on that.

“Thank God for high school reunions, huh?” Harry says, wiping his own tears of laughter from his eyes.

Louis smiles, his laughter dying down as he meets Harry’s happy gaze. “Yeah,” he says softly, knowing full well that this moment, this _second chance_ , may never have happened had it not been for this stupid reunion.

And Louis curses his decision to leave the club. It’s not like he would have wanted to drag Harry off to the bathroom to get off. Harry is worth more than that. _They_ are worth more than that. But it seems to him that the flame that had sparked between them in the club dimmed just a bit when the music stopped. When the alcohol seeped slowly out of their systems and reality and clarity set in.

Harry is still going to go back to L.A. Still going to leave Louis wishing they could be more. Could have _been_ more. And when Louis has the mental clarity to think of it, he realizes he doesn’t want to be the one to drag Harry down when he’s just risen to the top. Rock Star that he is. Louis dreams of picket fences and two and a half kids. Commitment.

Harry’s got the whole world at his feet and a dream career that offers him freedom to do whatever and be with whomever he wants. Groupies and models and celebrities. _Anyone_ he wants.

Not little Long Island Louis to tie him down. Not now. Not when his life, his _adventure_ , is only just beginning.

But, maybe.

Just for tonight…

They decide to watch a movie.

_Independence Day._

 

They fall asleep before the closing credits.

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

_Fucking birds with their fucking singing and chirping!_ Louis is pretty sure he's still half asleep when the incessant chirping of a bird outside of his living room window starts. _Fucking rude!_

He's also pretty sure that he is going to have a stiff neck if the way he's sitting up on his couch with his chin resting on his chest is anything to go by.

His eyes slowly drift open as the haze of sleep begins to clear and the bird's call becomes even louder. "Fucking bird," he mumbles, voice still rough with sleep, neck indeed stiff.

"Hmm?" Harry hums in question, head resting in Louis' lap.

Now, in all fairness, Louis really wasn't thinking ahead when Harry laid his head down in Louis' lap halfway through the movie. He didn't think about...morning and the things mornings sometimes bring with it for him and many other males.

Morning wood.

He didn't think about having morning wood.

He didn't think about Harry laying his head _directly on top of_ his sleep-stiffened cock. Didn't even consider that- _Oh, God!_ -Harry was a sleep nuzzler. Which apparently he- _Oh, God! I have to wake him the fuck up before...before..._ -very much is!

Harry is currently nuzzling Louis' swollen cock like a kitten nuzzling its owner's palm in search of affection. And Louis knows he needs to stop the sleeping man before he wakes to realize that Louis let him do such a thing. Let it continue just because Louis hasn't gotten laid in what?  SIX FUCKING MONTHS!!! Has been _dreaming_ of having Harry like this, close enough to those pillowed lips...

Desire seems to wash away all logic, Louis groaning as he watches Harry rubbing his cheek against his erection. His lips part on a gasp, eyes squeezing shut as his head falls against the back of the couch.

He should stop this. He really, _really_ should. Like... _now!_ It's _wrong!_

And that's what Louis is about to do when he feels the heat of Harry's lips against the tip of his clothed cock. The press of Harry's palm as he massages Louis' shaft. "H-Harry?"

"Mmm?"

"H-Harry? Are you...are you awake," he pants, hoping upon hope that he is met with an affirmative because this feels _so fucking good!_

He feels Harry slowly nod, nose brushing up and down his cock with the movement. "Mm-hmm."

_Thank GOD!_

Louis gives himself over to the feeling, mentally patting himself on the back for changing into sweats at the last minute before sleep had overtaken both of them. His hand finds its way to the back of Harry's head, fingers tangling in his sleep-mussed curls. Just resting there as Harry breathes hotly over Louis' cock, Harry's own fingers massaging into the flesh of Louis' inner thighs.

Louis' breath quickens, the insistent pounding of his pulse like a base drum in his ears. He's close. _So close._  

And Harry hasn't even so much as stroked him really. Just been running his lips, nose, cheek, fingertips against Louis' aching hardness. _Teasing._

He almost laughs out loud at the realization that Harry is, in fact, an actual cock-tease.  That is until he notices the way Harry's hips are circling erratically as he grinds his own cock against the couch cushions underneath him. Chasing his own glorious ending to a perfectly amazing wake-up.

Louis wants to joke that if Harry stains the couch then he's going to be the one to clean it. The words already forming on his tongue when Harry lets out a shuddering moan, his hips stuttering. " _Oh...fuuuck!_ "

Harry trembles as he comes down from his own climax, the hot breaths released from between his lips as he pants warming Louis' leaking cock. "Holy...shit."

He turns on his side, flushed and sated, looking up bashfully at Louis from between his messy locks. His dark, hooded eyes telling Louis that his morning was about to get a whole hell of a lot better. "Morning," Harry says, throat raw with sleep and stifled moans.

Louis draws his bottom lip in between his teeth, hips grinding up in anticipation. Their eyes lock and the slow, seductive smirk creeping along Harry's lips has Louis about ready to blow.

He whimpers as Harry goes to lift up Louis' t-shirt, fingers brushing the soft hairs near his belly button that lead down, down, _down._

_Oh, fuck! I'm not gonna last..._

A gasp escapes Louis' parted lips as Harry nuzzles his belly button, nipping at the tender flesh surrounding it. "Harry." It's all he can say. All he can get out before Harry is sucking a mark into the skin, pain and pleasure washing over him in waves.

_OH, FUCK! I'M NOT GONNA LAST..._

He feels the dip of Harry's fingertips underneath the waistband of his briefs and he knows without a doubt that he will cum the second his cock is released from its restraints. "Harry...I'm gonna...", he pants, gently nudging Harry in a half-hearted attempt to get him to move out of the way so he doesn't get doused in Louis' cum.

Harry shakes his head, curls tossing from side to side. "Nuh-uh. Wanna taste."

Louis bites down on his lip, willing his cock to behave long enough for Harry to get his wish and for one of his own dreams to finally come to fruition.

His cock springs free, angry and pulsing. Tip leaking precum and leaving a trail as it bounces against his lower belly.

_Dead kittens. Naked grannies. Dirty toenails. Hold on, Louis._

Harry licks up the glistening stickiness along Louis' tip before swallowing him down whole.

" _Fucking hell!!!!_ " Harry's eyes flick up to watch as Louis unravels, the man's fingertips digging into the couch cushions, head thrown back, eyes squeezed tight in ecstasy.

All it takes is two bobs of his mouth along Louis' cock before Harry is swallowing down the salty warmth of Louis' release.

Harry thinks that the sound of Louis cumming has to be the prettiest sound he's ever heard. All high and breathy, with a climb to a crescendo as he finally reaches his climax and his moans become near whines. _So fucking beautiful..._

Louis runs a shaky hand through his hair, eyes slowly opening with a sated smile. "So..." he says in a weak and tremulous whisper. "That was..."

Harry gently tucks Louis back into his briefs before sitting up completely, ignoring the sticky discomfort in his own pants.

“Probably the best and shortest fucking blow job of my entire life,” Louis says, a trace of laughter in his voice.

Harry’s face creases into a sudden smile, grasping Louis’ arm and leaning into his shoulder and placing a quick kiss there.

Louis looks at him with dreamy eyes, the sun coming in through the window illuminating the blue of his iris' spectacularly.

Harry thinks he could get lost in those pools of wedgewood.

The smile slowly drifts from Louis’ features as he takes on a serious expression. “But…I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves, Harry.”

Harry sits up, releasing Louis from his grasp. He nods absently as Louis continues.

“God knows that…this was _incredible_. I just. I don’t think of you as someone I can just get off with, you know. We-”

Harry clears his throat, fidgeting with his fingers. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He huffs out a laugh. “I don’t regret it though.”

Louis blushes because the hell if he doesn’t either.

"I'm stone cold sober, Lou," he whispers, his hand reaching up to cup Louis' jaw, his thumbs grazing the scruff there tenderly. 

Louis' melts at the sincerity in Harry's tone. The choke of restrained tears forcing him to clench his jaw shut to stifle the happy whimper that threatens.

Harry leans forward, brushing his nose against Louis' before placing a kiss on the tip. "And I feel the same way about you, about _us_ , as I did last night and the day before and the day before. But I agree."

There's the screech of tires from a car taking the corner too fast, the slam of a front door somewhere close by, the cry of a baby as it's mother wheels it past Louis' house, and that goddamned bird has finally found its mate because they're now doing a raucous duet outside his window.

But all Louis can hear is the beating of his heart as Harry's lips finally press lightly against his own in a kiss that tells him that this may be the beginning of something special.

The rest of the morning is spent indulging in lazy kisses and lingering touches and unspoken promises of _more_. Maybe not the “more” Louis has envisioned-all white picket fences and babies-but more than they were before.

And for Louis…that’s okay.

It is…

 

 

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After a quick cereal breakfast and halfway-decent coffee Harry walks the two blocks to his parents' house to check in with them and his sister. He had asked Louis to accompany him but Louis needed to get some shit done before the reunion tonight.

Studying for his Sports and Social Media exam coming up on Monday is number one on the list. Although, for the life of him Louis doesn’t know how he’ll be able to get the feel of Harry’s lips on his own, on his skin, and the image of them wrapped around his cock out of his head long enough for anything else to make its way in.

After a quick shower, during which he simply cannot stop smiling for whatever reason he prepares himself a ham and cheese sandwich and readies himself for his little study session. But when he goes to lay out his books to study he remembers having left them in his car a few days ago.

He groans at the thought of putting shoes on but luckily he had gotten a spot right in front of his house so it’s not too much of a bother.

He spots his books laying on the passenger seat so he quickly grabs them and is about to close the door when he sees it.

The Rolling Stone Magazine Gemma had given him the other day and insisted he read. He feels a bit guilty now remembering how insistent Harry’s sister had been that he read it and how it had simply slipped his mind.

He grabs the magazine and adds it to the pile of books in his arms, determined to read the article Gemma told him to read before he even cracks a text book.

 

 

He settles on to his couch, his plated sandwich at one knee and the Rolling Stone Magazine opened up to the Up and Coming Artist section in front of him. After skimming over the soundbites and author's description of the scenery and set up for the interview he relaxes back into his seat ready for anything.

 

Blah blah blah blah... ' _We sat down with Harry Styles to discuss his unique sound, fairly instant rock star status, and his surprising inspiration for his music._ Blah blah blah...

Louis takes a bite of his sandwich, chewing with a smile filled with pride. So proud of his Harry. His _friend._ His friend the _rock star._

 

**So Harry. You've become quite an overnight success. What do you think was the driving force behind that?**

_Well, I had a lot of support from my family and friends growing up. They all believed in me and my music and I think that gave me the confidence to pursue my dream to the fullest extent possible. They never gave up on me or my music so neither did I. In fact, one of my very best friends arranged for me to record my first demo for my 17th birthday. (Long pause) I think that was the day I realized how much I loved him. So he's become the inspiration for a lot of my music._

 

_WHAT?!?!?! Wait, wait, wait a minute. Did he just...did he...just...WHAT?!?!?!_

 

**Your first boyfriend?**

_No, actually. I...um...wasn't quite aware of my sexuality at the time. I kind of chalked up my feelings for him to like...intense admiration. So he doesn’t know how I feel about him actually which is…interesting._

**Well if he reads this he will.**

_Not very likely. We had a falling out and haven’t seen or spoken to each other in close to five years._

**Five years? That’s quite a long time. Makes for some angst-filled love songs.**

_(Nodding) You could say that. Hence he being the inspiration for (Styles’ latest hit single_ ) If I Could Fly.

**Beautiful song. Debuted at #1 on the Billboard Top 100 and is still holding strong in it’s 4 th week.**

_Yes. Thank you very much. I’m very proud of how well it’s doing. Especially because it is very near and dear to my heart. It’s about my struggle leaving him behind to pursue my dream and realizing my feelings for him were more important than anything else in this world. Even my music._

**Even your music?**

_(nodding) Even my music. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate and love all of my fans and I’m glad I have been given such an amazing opportunity to live my dream. I just wish he was living it with me, you know?_

 

Louis can’t quite pick his jaw up off of the floor. How long has Harry felt so deeply, so openly about him? And he, being the stubborn twat that he had been, had absolutely no idea because he shielded himself so readily from anything Harry-related.

_He didn’t just dedicate the song to me! He_ wrote _the fucking song for me!!! This beautiful, heartfelt, LOVE song! About_ ME!

Louis is bombarded with wave after wave of overwhelming emotion. He feels a bit like crying. A bit like laughing. A bit like slapping himself because…he’s underestimated Harry. Harry’s love for him. Harry’s ability _to love_ him. To want Louis just as much as Louis wants him. To want the same things for them as Louis does.

Louis just…assumed.

_What an oblivious fucking idiot I am!!!_

He drops the magazine and picks up his jaw. An unshed tear breaches the well of his lower eyelid and snakes its way down his cheek and he quickly wipes it away before grabbing his phone.

“Oh, Harry,” he chokes out in a whisper as he feels the second tear fall.

He just fucking _assumed…_

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

 

**Louis:** _I read your Rolling Stone article._

A minute passes before the little ellipses in the blue bubble show up on his phone screen and then…

**Harry:** _Gemma?_

**Louis:** _Yup. Gave it to me a couple days ago. I think we need to talk, Harry._

**Harry: … … …** _About?_

**Louis:** _Us._

Louis’ heart is rabbiting in his chest because…because this is it. This is the discussion he’s been waiting to have with this man for a decade. A discussion where they are on the same page about what they mean to each other. What they _feel_ for each other. What they _want_ from each other.

Sure Harry has expressed his attraction to and recently realized crush on Louis. But this. _This._ This was so much _more!_

**Harry:** _I’m in the city right now picking up a few things for tonight. Can we talk at the reunion? I really do want to talk, Lou._

Louis swallows, his fingers trembling as they type.

**Louis:** _See you tonight then._

**Harry:** _Can’t wait._

Louis stifles a giggle as he feels his cheeks heat up. He’s so fucking gone for this man.

**Louis:** _Me neither. Later, baby._

**Harry:** ❤ xoxo

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

Liam calls last minute to let Louis know he would have to meet him there as he had gotten caught up at work with some new celeb client. So with bumming a ride from his friend out of the question, Chaminade being only five blocks away from Louis’ home and it being a pretty lovely evening out Louis decides to walk it. Besides, he doesn’t think he’d be able to stop his hands from trembling long enough to get him there safely if he drove himself.

He spends the walk texting Harry who is stuck in traffic but ‘nearly there’, according to him.

**Harry:** _Can’t wait to see you._

**Louis:** _Same. What are you wearing?_

**Harry:** _Lewis! That is HIGHLY inappropriate! I am shocked!_

Louis stifles a giggle and has just a bit of trouble ignoring the butterflies in his belly at just the insinuation.

**Louis:** _Naughty, naughty, H. I am an absolute angel and would NEVER! Such a dirty mind you have! Honestly! Tsk-tsk…_

**Harry:** _Well, if you must know…_

A minute passes before Harry sends another message. In the form of a pic.

Louis’ jaw drops and he trips over his own feet at the [sight of Harry](http://daniellavictoriaao3.tumblr.com/image/145781086111).

 

**Harry:** _Niall took this pic right before we left the hotel. Do you approve?_

Louis’ mouth runs dry as his eyes scan the pic of Harry’s nearly bare chest, his shiny waves and almost _Yeah, I know I look good but I’m too humble to say it_ look on his face. The deep blue and garnet pattern of his obviously expensive shirt is tasteful and Louis doesn’t need to see what Harry is wearing on his legs because he can picture it all on his own.

His face heats up and he takes in a shaky breath as he types back.

**Louis:** _Beautiful. You look absolutely beautiful._

Butterflies. Louis is actually feeling the flutter of their incessant little wings beating against the walls of his belly, a warmth spreading throughout his insides.

He suddenly hears the steady stream of traffic and looks up only to realize that he is already across the boulevard from Chaminade.

_Time flies when you’re in love. Or something like that._

Louis feels giddy as he waits for the walk signal. Like he could literally fly across the four lane boulevard and through the doors of his old school straight into the arms of the love of his life. Except…well, Harry’s not quite there yet.

Louis’ phone chimes.

**Harry:** _Thank you, baby. I’d ask you for a pic but I’m not sure I can handle it._

Louis stifles a giggle and thinks maybe he’d like to keep Harry on his toes.

“Excuse me,” he addresses the elderly couple who happen to be walking past at that very moment. He gives them both a polite smile which they return immediately.

“Yes?” the man asks. “What can we do for you, son?”

“Would you please take a picture of me to send to my b-“ Louis cuts himself off quickly. Can never be too sure with some of the much older generation and their acceptance of the gay community. It’s just that Louis _really_ wants to get this pic to Harry before he steps through the doors of the reunion and is bombarded by prying old classmates and no longer has the chance to get the shot off. “Best friend. My best friend.” The couple is only too happy to oblige and soon Louis is sending off a [pic of his own](http://daniellavictoriaao3.tumblr.com/image/145781061076).

 

**Louis:** _Think you can handle it?_

As he finally gets the walk signal, Louis smirks and brushes off the thought that he and Harry are one step away from sexting.

By the time he gets all the way across he has come to accept that this is indeed a _half step away_ from sexting as Harry replies:

**Harry:** _Damn! Not so sure but we can find out tonight._

Louis thinks this conversation would be better held with him lying flat on his back on his bed, no onlookers to see his growing arousal. But tonight. Tonight is about more than how sexually attracted they are to each other. Much more.

 

Their conversation cuts short as Louis is about to enter into his old school when he hears his name.

“Louis? Louis Tomlinson?”

Louis turns just as he is reaching out for the door handle and spots an old familiar face walking up the steps behind him.

“Father Brian! Good to see you!” Louis smiles at the burly, white-haired priest who was once his English Lit teacher. “What’s it been? Five years?”

The priest laughs, patting Louis’ shoulder with one hand and shaking Louis’ hand with the other. “Good to see _you_ , Tomlinson. Heard you’re studying Sports Journalism now. Can’t say I’m surprised. You were always a great writer.”

Louis’ chest swells with pride. “Thank you, Father. I had great teachers.” Louis was never a suck-up but he can always appreciate a good compliment.

Father Brian smiles as he reaches behind Louis to open the glass door leading in to the vestibule of the auditorium. He ushers Louis in ahead of him and Louis gives him a nod of thanks as he enters. There are a few unfamiliar faces milling about in dressy attire, sipping cocktails and chatting right outside the doors leading into the auditorium. There’s a rectangular table covered with a gold tablecloth right outside the auditorium doors, little tented name cards and name badges with ‘Hi, My name is…’ written across each one littering the top. A salt-and-pepper haired woman Louis vaguely remembers as one of the librarians sits behind it with a clipboard, taking attendance with a friendly smile.

“See you inside, Tomlinson.” Father Brian enters the auditorium, and as the door opens music and the buzz of people talking wafts through into the vestibule.

“Tommo!” a man he recognizes easily as Danny Lively, someone he wasn’t exactly friends with when they were in school but still friendly enough to remember his face, claps him on the back as he sidles up next to Louis at the sign-in table. “Danny. Lively.” Danny points to himself just in case Louis doesn’t quite recognize him.

Louis nods with a friendly smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I remember you. How are you?” He reaches out to shake Danny’s hand before quickly turning back to sign the clipboard. He grabs his place card then and attaches his name badge to his shirt.

“Good. And you?”

“Very well. Thanks. Can’t believe it’s been five years already,” Louis says, leading the way through the auditorium doors.

“I know, right.” Danny shakes his head in disbelief, following in behind Louis. “Time flies…”

“Yeah.”

Louis looks down at his place card. _Table 4_.

“So, you bring your girl or…?”

_Really?_ _Already?_

“No. No girl,” Louis shakes his head, eyes scanning the room for Table 4 and more familiar faces. Teammates, maybe?

“Ah, so it’s true then.”

Louis pauses. “What? That I’m gay? Yeah. It’s true.”

“That’s cool. That’s cool,” Danny holds up both hands placatingly. “My wife’s sister is a lesbian so…”

And Louis wants to laugh because isn’t that always the response. Or something along those same lines.

Louis hums in acknowledgement and continues to scan the room.

“So…,” Danny’s starts, hesitation evident. “Heard Styles is bi.”

Louis huffs out a laugh, a bit shocked at the comment. He notices a few heads turn at Harry’s name. His name is recognizable for obviously more than being a former classmate and, though he’s not a global super star quite yet, his music is still widely known all the same. As is his sexual orientation. But Louis still doesn’t feel comfortable discussing something so personal about someone who isn’t even present. “Why don’t you ask him yourself? He’s on his way.”

“Oh, I know. Heard he’s bringing that supermodel he’s been dating on and off. Lucky fucking bastard. Sorry father,” Danny says, bowing his head in apology for his language to a passing priest Louis remembers as his freshman history teacher.

Louis tenses at his former classmates comment about Harry bringing Kendall.

_I mean…obviously it’s not true but…_

_Is he ready to be open about us?_

The priest shakes his head at both men and continues on his merry way.

“Shit,” Danny mumbles and then turns back to Louis. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go find my wife. She’s no fucking supermodel but…” he trails off with a laugh.

Louis rolls his eyes. “Harry’s not bringing a supermodel, Danny.” He’s irritated now. He wants to shout it from the rooftops that Harry is his. That he is Harry’s. But he’s not so sure what Harry would want him to say…

“Oh. Well that’s disappointing.” Danny claps him on the back and Louis wants to punch the man but the giant golden statue of Jesus on a cross hanging against the opposite wall catches his eye and he’s reminded just exactly where he is. “See you later, man.”

Louis watches as Danny walks off and is relieved for the reprieve.

A half an hour later and Louis is mingling quite nicely. He’s found some former teammates of his and is reminiscing about some of their more memorable games, when he spots Liam walk through the door to the auditorium.

Louis waves him over. “Hey, there’s Payno.”

“Holy shit,” he hears one of the player’s wives mumble into her drink, eyes wide as a very dapper Liam makes his way over to them.

Liam does cut a nice figure. Louis can admit it. All broad shoulders and narrow waist in his snug gray dress shirt and black dress pants. Louis knew when his former classmates got a look at how much Liam has changed they would be floored. And he was right.

He greets his best friend with a hug and is about to pull him away to talk about more private matters-namely the Rolling Stone article and everything that has gone on since he read it earlier-when he spots him. Harry.

An unconscious smile makes its way across Louis’ face, his heart fluttering in his chest.

_So beautiful_.

Louis’ thoughts filter back to the day he met Harry. The boy with the curls and the ever-present smile. The boy who so readily embedded himself into Louis’ life. Into Louis’ _heart_. How, at the time, Harry had no idea of the affect his very existence had on Louis. How Louis knew from _day one_ that Harry was going to be someone special in his life with how easily they connected. How _deeply_ they connected. As friends. As _best_ friends.

_So fucking beautiful…_

Harry makes quite the entrance. All heads turning as he steps further into the room. Yet Harry takes no notice as he has his head bowed, typing something into his phone.

Louis hears the chime of his phone go off somewhere off in the distance, eyes still glued to the beautiful man oblivious to the jaws dropping around him at his mere presence.

The elbow in his side brings him back to earth. “Your phone, Lou.” Liam.

_What? Oh!_

He’d just been so mesmerized that he doesn’t even realize his phone is actually still in his pocket and it is indeed going off.

He retrieves it quickly, picking his own jaw up off of the floor with a blush.

**Harry:** _Just got here. Where are you?_

Louis’ stomach flips and he’s suddenly extremely nervous. His fingers tremble as he goes to type in a response but he thinks better of it and decides to greet Harry in person.

“S’cuse me boys. Ladies. I think I see someone I may know.” Louis simply can’t wipe the smile off of his face, his eyes focused on one person and one person only. Everything else a peripheral blur.

As he gets closer he sees that Harry is holding something in his other hand. Some small, clear plastic container, blue ribbon wrapped around it and tied with a little bow.

Harry spots him then, a fond grin spreading quickly across his features. His green eyes crinkle with the enormity of it.

“Hey, you.” Louis says when he reaches Harry, his cheeks heating with a grin to rival Harry’s own. He mindlessly tugs at his shirt, suddenly self-conscious now that Harry is here. He wants to reach out, pull Harry to him and press their lips together like it’s the first time all over again. But he hesitates, still unsure of what Harry is ready or willing to reveal about what he and Louis are to one another.

“Hey, you.” Harry pockets his phone before reaching and trailing his fingertips down Louis’ forearm and gently tugging on his friend’s hand. “You look,” he trails his eyes up and down Louis’ form approvingly, “gorgeous. That pic didn’t do you justice.”

Louis blushes, suddenly feeling like he’s being picked up by his date for prom. “Not so bad yourself, beautiful. Turning a few heads.”

Harry’s eyes don’t stray from Louis’ form, from Louis’ eyes. Even when the murmurs of “ _That’s Harry Styles_ ” and “ _Oh, my God!_ _Harry Styles is here_ ” become just a tad more noticeable than from when he first entered. “I have something for you.”

And, _oh!_

The little plastic box Harry’s holding. It’s for him. For Louis.

Louis tears his eyes away from Harry’s and watches as Harry tugs at the blue bow securing the box. He watches as Harry removes the blue rose nestled among a tiny pillow of Baby’s Breath, the stem wrapped in white satin ribbon. He watches as Harry tosses the empty box onto a nearby table and turns back to Louis, holding the flower up to Louis’ chest-right over his heart-ready to pin it to the fabric.

Harry looks up at Louis through his eyelashes with a look that asks… _Is this okay?_

Louis can’t quite catch his breath though he realizes he has indeed been holding it when a burst of air rushes out as he says “Yes. Please,” along with a vigorous nod of approval.

Harry’s eyes close briefly with a relieved smile and he lets out his own held breath. Like it was even a question of whether Louis would accept the boutonniere from him.

He pins the flowers to Louis’ shirt with trembling hands.

Louis is oblivious to the stares they’re receiving. The looks of disbelief as Harry basically lets those that surround them know that Louis is most definitely the one he is with.

“This mean I’m your date, Styles?” Louis smirks playfully when Harry steps back to view his work.

He meets Louis’ eyes, lips quirking up thoughtfully. “I suppose it does. If you’ll have me.”

Louis regards him with a gentle smile. “Like it’s even a question.”

 

=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=z=

 

They make a plan to have their talk after the chatter has died down surrounding Harry’s arrival so as not to be interrupted.

Harry says hello to Liam and then makes the rounds, never straying too far from Louis’ side. Their former classmates and their significant others’ gushing over Harry’s music. Saying how they always knew Harry would make it big. Some of the wives and girlfriends have fallen under Harry’s spell. The spell he unknowingly casts, Louis suspects, by just existing. Without even trying. Some selfies are taken with those who dare to ask for a pic with the rock star.

Louis is endeared. He also is thankful, for some reason he chooses not to think too much about, that the level of interest in the obvious closeness between he and Harry is not brought in to question by anyone. The most they get are curious glances of which Louis can read the reasons behind like a book.

He doesn’t mind. Not really.

He and Harry keep throwing quick glances at each other whenever they get separated and Louis just wants to grab Harry and pull him out of there. Make a quick exit and get on with the rest of their lives together without having to put on a little song and dance for all of these people.

But an hour in, and a few welcoming speeches by a former class president and the principal later, dinner is served and Louis realizes that he’s actually pretty damn hungry.

Harry is surrounded by a few former teachers when he catches Louis’ eye and makes his way over to Table 4 which he just so happens to also be sitting at.

_It’s fate_ , Louis thinks, wistfully. _It’s such a silly thing but…yeah. Fate._

Liam is sitting at the table directly behind them but he’s reconnected with an old buddy of his who’s been assigned to the same table so it’s all good.

Their table mates are vaguely familiar so small talk is what’s made at best. Anyway, Louis is too preoccupied with the way Harry is holding his hand underneath the table. Thumb trailing softly back and forth across Louis’ knuckles soothing any nerves he might have had about Harry’s willingness to share the level of their closeness with the general public. Well, at least the “general public” at their high school reunion. Bringing and pinning the boutonniere on Louis for all to see kind of cleared up any questions for him on that front.

But Louis’ been itching to get Harry alone. To have their discussion about Harry’s _Rolling Stone_ article. It’s on the tip of his tongue ever since they tore themselves away from the mingling masses.

So when the lights go down and the DJ turns up the music a little louder now that dinner is over and everyone is a bit more relaxed, Louis sees his chance.

“Hey,” he leans over and whispers in Harry’s ear. Their fingers are still intertwined and resting on Harry’s knee under the table.

Harry quirks an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Come with me.” Louis tugs a pliant Harry up out of his seat and leads him towards the auditorium’s exit doors.

They manage to avoid any former classmates or teachers wanting to chat just long enough to make it outside. Then Louis is dragging him by his hand around the side of the building through the well-kept rose garden encircled by a wrought-iron fence.

“Lou?” Harry stage whispers. “Where are you taking me?”

Louis throws a mischievous grin over his shoulder towards Harry. “You’ll see.”

Sure the rose garden would be incredibly romantic and all but Louis has long been dreaming of the day when he could do something like what he is about to do. With Harry. _Always_ with Harry.

Luckily, the chain link fence surrounding the soccer field is not locked and with a relieved exhale, Louis is pushing it open and leading a smiling Harry onto the grass.

The stadium lights aren’t on but the street lamps nearby lend some light raining down here and there onto the field. They’re not completely in darkness and that’s all that really matters to Louis.

Louis stops when they reach the center point of the field, memories rushing back of games played through all four years of high school. Nerves sometimes getting the best of him but confidence being restored as he spots his curly-haired cheerleader in the stands. Rooting him on without abandon, not caring how people side-eyed him as long as Louis heard him. As long as Louis knew that Harry was there for him. Encouraging him. _Believing_ in him.

So many times Louis had had to restrain himself after a winning game where Harry’s cheers had helped him seal the deal on a particularly tricky play from running over to his best friend in the stands and kissing him senseless. In thanks and…just because. Just because he could. But of course, back then, he really couldn’t. Could he?

Louis turns in a circle, taking in the field. Breathing in the memories. When he comes full circle and is face to face with a softly smiling Harry, he takes both of Harry’s hands in his.

“What?” Louis asks when Harry’s eyes go as soft as his smile, as warm as his hands.

Harry bites down on his bottom lip, eyes searching Louis’ face as if it holds all of the answers to all the questions he’s ever had. “I meant every word of it, Lou. Every word I said in that interview.”

And now it’s Louis’ turn to go soft as he can practically feel himself melt into the grass below their feet. “Yeah?”

Harry nods, his hands releasing Louis’ only to take Louis’ face in his hands. Harry gazes deeply into Louis’ blue eyes, still so blue even without the sunlight. Even without the stadium lights to illuminate them. So, _so_ blue as they glisten with what Harry prays are tears of happiness.

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I can’t live one more day without hearing your voice as soon as I wake up and right before I go to sleep. I want to share everything that I have, everything that I _am_ with you because everything that I have and everything that I am, I owe a lot of it to you. For five years I’ve tried my damnedest to prove that you weren’t wrong to believe in me. That me leaving here was for good reason. That it was worth it because I was making something of my music. I was doing what I always wanted to do.” Harry clears his throat as it tightens with the threat of impending tears. When he begins again, his voice is shaky and Louis raises a hand to his cheek in comfort even though he’s fighting the same losing battle with his emotions. “But…no matter how much success I’ve had it’s nothing when I don’t have you to share it with. My best friend. The one who believed in me and helped me believe in myself. It wasn’t worth it if I didn’t have you living the dream with me, you know?”

Louis’ fingers curl into the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck, pressing their foreheads together as he breathes in Harry’s words. “I can’t believe all this time…I’ve been so stupid. I _do_ believe in you, baby. Always have. Always will. I’m so, _so_ damn proud of you. You have no idea.”

Harry releases a long-held breath with a smile. “I know you do, Louis. I know. It’s what’s kept me going.” He leans back a bit, just enough to see if Louis knows he’s being 100% honest. To _make sure_ Louis knows he’s being 100% honest. “I want to share it all with you, Louis. If you’ll have me…”

Dreams of walking down the street holding Harry’s hand, kissing Harry’s lips, _being_ Harry’s _boyfriend_ flash before his eyes. He honestly wants this. He wants it all. With Harry. But there’s so many things standing in the way. Like…

“But…you live in L.A., Harry. I mean…I want to be with you. I honestly do. Just-“

“About that,” Harry smiles wryly, eyes shining. He reaches into his back pocket as Louis looks on a bit confused as he reveals a set of house keys-one with a green I.D. cap and one with a blue.

Louis’ breath catches, brow furrowing a bit in confusion as a careful smile inches its way across his face. _House keys? What…?_

“All this week I’ve been meeting with my real estate agent. I-I purchased an apartment in the city, Lou.” Harry has all of a sudden become shy, peering up at Louis through his lashes. He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’ll have to go back and forth when I’m needed in L.A. but…I’m making my home base in New York. And I know we’re not quite there yet,” he hurries on when he hears Louis take a sharp inhale, ready to cut in. “…but when we are,” he reaches out for Louis’ hand and drops the key with the blue I.D. cap into it. “…I would love it if you would join me. For now, though. I want you to have a key to my apartment. Someday, hopefully, _our_ apartment. Because, Louis. I’m _so_ in love with you and I refuse to lose you ever again.”

Louis stares at the key in his hand, dumbfounded.

Louis couldn’t have dreamed this would be his reality when he tentatively answered the call from an unknown number a week ago. _A week ago!_ But he and Harry have had years to dwell on the “could have been’s” and the “should have been’s”. Plenty of time to experience life without the other and realize that that is not how either of their lives were supposed to be lived. _Too much_ time not spent breathing each other’s air, kissing each other’s lips, _loving_ each other as it should have always been.

Louis feels the weight of the key in his hand, his heart beating out of his chest with the thought of what it represents.

_Harry._

_Home._

He pictures letting himself in to Harry’s apartment. Fixing him a surprise dinner after a long day spent at the studio. Louis may or may not be wearing clothes when he greets Harry at the door but he’s leaning towards not just so he can imagine the way Harry bypasses the meal and goes straight for dessert. Dessert spent making love in _their_ bed.

Then his and Harry’s little puppy, a Puggle because that’s all Louis’ ever wanted, greeting Louis at the door as he comes home from his day as a sports reporter at the New York Times. Harry follows behind Jerome, because that’s all Louis’ ever wanted to _name_ said Puggle, clad in only his tight little boxer-briefs and a welcoming smile.

Yeah, Louis could get used to that.

But first…

“So, Harold? Does this mean you want me to be your _boyfriend_?” He teases but feels a tingle of excitement over the new title all the same. He reaches his arms up to rest on Harry’s shoulders, hands caressing the back of Harry’s neck, bringing their lips so close that Louis can feel the warmth of Harry’s breath on his own.

Harry laughs, wetly. Giddy at the prospect of calling this man, calling his best friend, calling _Louis_ his _boyfriend_. He can’t even speak so he simply nods, eyes crinkling through the tears of happiness leaving trails down his cheeks.

Louis tips his head back to stare deeply into Harry’s sparkling green eyes his own eyes regarding the other man with palpable love and warmth. “Well, then. I wholeheartedly accept.”

Harry laughs, giddy as he pulls Louis into his arms and lifting him off of his feet with a surprised squawk.

He’s murmuring something over and over again against Louis’ cheek as he spins him around and it’s not until Louis’ heart settles that he can make out the _I love you, I love you, I love you_ ’s.

Harry’s lips come coaxingly down to Louis’ and without hesitation Louis responds, his lips pressing to Harry’s in a tender and lingering kiss. A kiss he feels from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Their first kiss as _boyfriends._ The first of many, _many_ more to come.

And at that very moment, as if fate wasn’t smiling down on them enough, someone sneaking a smoke out of the side entrance to the auditorium props open the door. The soft melody of Harry’s own voice singing the words of his ode to the love of his life washes over them and there’s really only one thing left to do.

_If I could fly…_

Louis pulls back just a little and gazes up at his _boyfriend_ tenderly. They exchange a quiet, knowing smile before Louis finally asks. “May I have this dance, my love?”

_I’d be coming right back home to you…_


End file.
